2/14/2005 RM Newsletter: Be My Valentine

Chocolate wrapped up with a big red bow? Hershey’s kisses by the bagful? Roses brought in by the dozen? Valentine’s Day gifts with free shipping popping up all over the internet and landing on your doorstep?

Yeah, yeah. Dark and rich. Lots of it. Red and white. We get it.

Don’t get me wrong. My eternally favorite Valentine’s gift is dark chocolate. As I’ve put myself on a dark-chocolate deprivation diet these past few weeks…and feeling pretty crummy because of it I might add…the presence of chocolate in my house these next few days will be a sight for sore eyes (and for my sore brain and heart, too. No one can argue: dark chocolate is fabulously emotionally therapeutic.) So I’m all for buying your sweetie dark chocolate for Valentine’s Day! And I’ll never turn down flowers of any kind, nor last-minute gifts bought on sale!

But let’s see if we can get a little more creative here. This holiday has existed since Pope Gelasius officially declared it a Christian holiday in 496 A.D. to honor St. Valentine, the patron saint of lovers. But let’s face it: whether it is celebrated with religious significance in your family or not, this holiday comes with certain expectations. Expressions of love may vary from family to family, but we all want to be treated to something sweet, something we might not do for ourselves, and something that reads: “I am thinking of you today my love. Relax. Enjoy it. You’re so worthy of my undying devotion and love.” Be it for the sole enjoyment of your spouse—or for your kids, parents, and friends as well—think about ways that show you are thinking of those you love on this most special of days.

Here goes: ROCKET MOM’S Top 14 Ways to Say “I Love You” on Valentine’s Day:

1) Bring food to your sweetie in bed. Strawberries or raspberries, along with a fresh pastry, French toast (or “freedom toast”), or scrambled eggs, served with piping hot tea or coffee, make for the perfect way to start the day. Ernie surprised me Saturday morning with a cup of Starbuck’s and a freshly baked croissant (I rarely eat bread or pastries so it was especially precious) as I was getting ready to hop into the shower. A wildly romantic way to start the morning (if you know what I mean…)
2) Buy your sweetie fabulous chocolates. Please don’t do the normal, everyday stuff that he or she eats all year long. Expand your “chocolate wardrobe.” Visit your favorite chocolatier or specialty food shop to buy exotic chocolate. And be sure to buy enough to last at least one day. If you’re a man, you probably won’t get this, but it reads: “Buy your sweetie some wonderful stuff by the case!” If you’re a woman, no instructions necessary. If you’re menopausal, I’m sure you’re already one step ahead of me.
3) Bring home at least one long-stemmed rose. Red, pink, and white all work. Rose re-spelled spells “EROS” after all. It’s a sign: roses are meant to be given on Valentine’s Day. No need to splurge on two dozen…unless you want to, of course. This holiday started out with humble intentions by a Catholic pope for crying out loud, and has become wildly commercialized. So don’t feel like you need to buy into all of that; go simple and humble if you prefer low-keying it. But do treat your sweetie to a flower or two.
4) Write handmade love poems. Not just for your honeybee, but for all of the tootsie rolls in your home, too. Place them in envelopes next to their beds, in a pretty china bowl in the dining room, or next to their backpacks. For the language-challenged, rest assured that two lines will do. Fall back on “roses are red and violets are blue” to get you started (if you must). And remember, poems don’t have to rhyme. Keep them simple but stylin’. Encourage older children to write poems for their siblings and for mom and dad, too!
5) Pull out your wedding photos and your wedding video. Re-live the memory of your wedding day. Listen once again to the vows you took. Delight in the way your spouse looked on that most special of days in the history of your family. Affirm to your mate that he or she looks even more beautiful today that on your wedding day.
6) Cook heart-shaped food. Be it pancakes or waffles, muffins or scones: bring out the heart-shaped cookie cutters, waffle irons, and baking sheets. This is the one day of the year to truly use them. Splurge on whipped cream, real butter, and pure maple syrup.
7) Leave love notes in your children’s lunchboxes. Make your own, using simple stationery, or just use index cards and stickers. Write one thing that you love about your child. Tucked safely in with his or her lunch, it’s a surefire way to let him know that your love is secure.
8) Make or buy simple gifts. Nothing extravagant. I bought Ernie some toiletries to complete the set he received at Christmas. A bottle of spearmint-scented body spray and another of bed linen spray are just enough to let him know I didn’t forget him on Valentine’s Day (of course there’s the shower thing…) My kids are each receiving tiny boxes of handmade truffles, along with one small gift, unique to each one of their interests.
9) Wrap simple gifts extravagantly. This is the time to use gorgeous wrapping papers and bows. And display them in full view. One of the best parts about Valentine’s Day is the element of mystery and suspense. The gifts I have bought will be seen by my family for a couple days—wrapped and in view on our dining room table—so that they have some time to wonder what lies underneath all of that hot pink wrap and big white bows.
10) Do something unexpected. Someone in your family may be wishing for some thing—large or small. It might seem trivial to us, but monumental to your toddler. Go ahead and surprise her! Valentine’s Day gives you a great excuse to express your love with a token gift of appreciation. And it doesn’t have to cost a dime, either. Maybe junior wants a play date in the park, just with you. Perhaps your wife has been bugging you to fix the kitchen sink or hang a picture in your foyer; your hubby may be nagging you to sew on a button. Simply organizing your husband’s sock drawer—or tool box—would be a wonderful gesture that reads: “I thought of you today!” Think of similar yet simple loving gestures for your kids: ironing a shirt or cleaning out a messy bathroom drawer shouts: “I love you.” And allowing your teenage daughter to spend thirty extra minutes on the phone today qualifies as an unexpected love gift that she’ll treasure for weeks!
11) Do dinner in. Few things could be easier to make than beef tenderloin, yet it is one of the most satisfying foods on the face of the earth. Encourage the kids to get to bed early, and plan on a thoroughly romantic candlelight dinner in the comfort of your own home. With music softly playing, china perfectly set, and sterling silver shining: the evening can be executed with relative ease, and is guaranteed to bring pleasure to both you and your spouse. The experience of dining—rather than eating—is one I am convicted to bring to my own family. It is physically, emotionally, and spiritually satisfying.
12) Do lunch out. Schedule a mid-day tryst with your spouse. You’ll save a lot of money by dining out at lunch instead of at dinner, and the infrequency with which you probably do this sort of thing will make it even more special. If your husband or wife works a great distance from your place of work or your workplace in the home, this may present some creative challenges. But see if you can sneak it in. Just for today.
13) Give massages. Total body work, back rubs, and foot massages are all perfect Valentine’s Day gifts for all of the members of your family. The gift of touch is a gift that every single person alive today needs…and needs much more than we think, and much more than any one of us probably gets. Be it extra hugs or warm rubs with massage oil (or even Ben-Gay!), commit to using your hands by giving the gift of physical touch on Valentine’s Day.
14) Show up naked. Can’t believe I wrote that. But after asking my husband to help me with this list, this was his sole, shining contribution. Truth be told, it was actually our old pastor, Mike Breaux, who implored us mothers to do just that. Not just on Valentine’s Day, but everyday. He went through a litany of things that men need to do to express romantic love to their wives, with only one thing wives need do to show romantic love for their husbands. And this was it. Funny: of all the sermon points my husband has memorized over these past twentysomething years, he chose this one. Whether this proves that men still do have a one-track mind…or that behind every rocket mom is a rocket man, I’m not quite sure. But I can attest to the fact that, if you’re too exhausted to do the other thirteen; too spent to even think about buying or creating, wrapping or shipping; and too broke to buy out, lunch out, or bake out, this is really all you need to do on Valentine’s Day. See for yourself.


I hope you enjoy a day of love and laughter with you and yours on Valentine’s Day!

Hugsandkisses,

Carolina