2/28/05 RM Newsletter: Love is a Verb

Today’s Quote: “We don't yet see things clearly. We're squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won't be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We'll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us! But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love. (1 Corinthians 13:12-13 from THE MESSAGE)

Love reigns supreme. We know it. We feel it. And yet when we read the qualities of real love, we understand that they are impossible for our human nature to meet:
Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
Love doesn't strut,
Doesn't have a swelled head,
Doesn't force itself on others,
Isn't always "me first,"
Doesn't fly off the handle,
Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn't revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end. (I Corinthians 13: 4-7 THE MESSAGE)

We can’t keep our cool under pressure. Can’t put up with anything. Have you ever peeked inside your teenager’s bedroom and felt your blood pressure rise? Or examined your toddler’s toy messes only to feel an immediate wave of nausea? Grace and charm under pressure? Forgetaboutit! Good grief: my kids leave the kitchen a wreck and I practically go into orbit!

Can’t keep from wanting what we don’t have. I’ve wanted to remodel my kitchen ever since we purchased this house a year and half ago, yet I cannot afford to do so. I flip through kitchen decorating magazines, yearning for the time when I can create a room of beauty…secretly desiring what I do not have.

Don’t strut? Ever watched American Idol or The Apprentice? Quintessential strutting. Humility and meekness never even entered those equations.

We live in a culture that is anti-love. We’re told to watch out for #1. Go for the top—at all costs. Compete against our enemies—as well as our friends. We’re fair weather friends and distant relatives. Neighbors in crisis but unavailable otherwise.

Yet we know that love reigns supreme.

Why love? When we find it so impossible to love in our humanness. The King James Version of 1 Corinthians uses the word “charity” for love. Yet when we think of the common usage of the word, we think of giving to the poor. Almsgiving. Tsunami relief efforts. But that is not the meaning of the word in Greek. The Greek word is “agape.” Love for others that stems from a love for God. Love that is impossible to attain without first loving God. Charity without love for God puts too much emphasis on us. It focuses on how good we are. How generous. How thoughtful. Yet that is not the true meaning of this deepest form of love.

Agape love always seeks the highest good in others. It always looks for the best. Wherever. Whenever. In whomever.

It’s something that you do. It’s a verb. Love of humanity is a reflection of the love which we have for our Maker, and is manifested outwardly in positive, uplifting actions to others. Love is a verb. It means being kind to one another with acts of kindness. Tender-hearted with acts of tenderness. When others weep, weeping with them; when others rejoice, rejoicing with them.

Real love is not premeditated; rather, it is spontaneous. It literally burst out of us in extraordinary ways. Neighbors—as well as total strangers alike—have shown our family real love these past four months since Nick was diagnosed with leukemia. A veritable wellspring of love has erupted throughout Ridgefield, our tiny Connecticut town. Generous acts of mercy during this time of uncertainty have been expressed on a near-daily basis. Rather than people saying: “We’re thinking of you,” or even “We’re praying for you,”—both of which are appreciated very, very much—they’re acting on love. They’re bringing dinner after we’ve endured full days of chemotherapy in a town 90 miles away; they’re driving our children to tennis and violin lessons when I’m trapped in traffic on I-95; they’re sitting with Nick when he’s feeling too crummy to get out and about on his own. One family, the Davidson’s, even took our youngest son, Victor, on a week-long ski vacation during our winter break, as we were not able to leave because of Nick’s chemo schedule.

Extraordinary, extravagant love in action.

Love is a verb.

Oswald Chambers perhaps said it best in My Utmost for His Highest: “If human love does not carry a man beyond himself, it is not love. If love is always discreet, always wise, always sensible and calculating, never carried beyond itself, it is not love at all. It may be affection, it may be warmth of feeling, but it has not the true nature of love in it…There are times when it seems as if God watches to see if we will give Him the abandoned tokens of how genuinely we do love Him…We have to get rid of this notion "Am I of any use?" and make up our minds that we are not, and we maybe near the truth. It is never a question of being of use, but of being of value to God Himself. When we are abandoned to God, He works through us all the time.
There are dozens of people out there who desperately need your touch. Shut-ins who could use good cheer. Elderly folks in nursing homes, who never see a strange face, hear a song sung, or pat a fluffy dog. Moms who have suffered miscarriage who desperately need to hear that they will be okay with time. Neighbors who have just lost a parent who need a hot meal. Friends who are confined with the flu who need a pot of chicken-noodle soup.

I pray that you will feel moved to one extraordinary, extravagant act of love this week. Love is a verb. Go in love.

The Love Chapter/Love Psalm: 1 Cor 13 (from THE MESSAGE)
1 If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don't love, I'm nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate.
2 If I speak God's Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, "Jump," and it jumps, but I don't love, I'm nothing.
3 If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love.

4 Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
Love doesn't strut,
Doesn't have a swelled head,
5 Doesn't force itself on others,
Isn't always "me first,"
Doesn't fly off the handle,
Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,
6 Doesn't revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
7 Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.

8 Love never dies. Inspired speech will be over some day; praying in tongues will end; understanding will reach its limit. 9 We know only a portion of the truth, and what we say about God is always incomplete. 10 But when the Complete arrives, our incompletes will be canceled.
11 When I was an infant at my mother's breast, I gurgled and cooed like any infant. When I grew up, I left those infant ways for good.
12 We don't yet see things clearly. We're squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won't be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We'll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!
13 But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love.


A Nick Note

Nick started another round of chemo on Wednesday. He took the two
days of therapy (Wednesday and Thursday) extremely well, only to
crash over the weekend. It's very powerful stuff. Please continue
to keep him in your prayers. He's received several cards and
handwritten letters this past week. What fabulous words of
encouragement...and love in action! Thank you!!!

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A Quick Note

Today's my birthday and I'll be celebrating all day long. In
addition to celebrating with my family and friends up here, I
want to take this opportunity to tell you that I will be
celebrating our friendship, too. Thank you for being in my
world. You have encouraged me this past year, have helped me
to grow spiritually, and have walked in step with me during a
particularly tumultuous time. Words cannot express the
gratefulness I hold in my heart for your presence. Know that
I will be holding all of my readers deep within me--
especially today.