A significant date in the secular world will converge with a significant date in the religious world to give me significant pause. April 15th stamps the due date for tax collection and March 1 will mark—literally—those of us who honor Ash Wednesday.
As my husband and I completed our tax returns over the winter break (believe me, it was not because we couldn’t think of anything funner to do…), we were forced to examine—in the absolute light of day—where exactly, the resources with which we’ve been entrusted went. The process is not a particularly appealing one to us creative types; pulling out receipts and lining up invoices in perfect little piles pales in comparison to putting oil to canvas, needle to linen or voice to song.
My left-brained hubby, by contrast, gets a veritable kick out of creating Excel sheets, affixing percentages to line items and developing beautifully-colored pie charts in an effort to show me visually where every single penny is spent.
Amazing that these two types of people can happily co-exist, huh?
But as it usually turns out, the experience of examining one’s stewardship over financial resources provides valuable clues into the very essence of how well—or not—one’s life is lived. When one can clearly see the percentage going to charity versus entertainment, for example, or for increased lifestyle, one grasps a fuller understanding of where priorities really lie.
Combined with the significant upcoming event of Ash Wednesday, where Christians around the world grapple with the mystery of sacrifice, I have been forced to squarely deal with the stuff of our family. With how much we earn and how much we spend, versus how much we save and donate to those facing less prosperous life circumstances. Throw on top of that this week’s Rocket Mom Society meeting in my home where our topic will be “Getting Your Act Together: The Stuff of Your Life” and the recipe cooking up in my kitchen casts a heavily scented aroma of introspection.
So how do you grapple with stewardship and sacrifice?
I have come to this understanding through years working in investments, as a former stockbroker married to a former stockbroker, as well as teaching and counsel from people in my life whose input I value. You may profoundly disagree with my perspective, and of course I respect the fact that yours may be quite different from mine. But as I look at the stuff of life: how to acquire it, manage it, share it and leave it, I grapple with a few basic principles. Sensing the timeliness of these matters, given that March 1 and April 15 are just around the corner, perhaps you are grappling with them, too.
1) We do not own resources; we merely exert stewardship over them. We did not create the beauty of the universe; our Creator did. He can do with it whatever He chooses. He has entrusted our universe to us in the best hopes that we will take care of it wisely. Our financial resources are not really ours, either. They have been provided to us through God’s grace with the hopes that we will use them wisely, too. So I don’t think of the things in my life as “my stuff.” It’s certainly stuff—and it may reside in my home—but I merely exert stewardship over it while I’m on this earth. I will leave it exactly as I entered it: utterly naked.
2) Resources come and resources go; we need to be content with both much and with little. My family has had much at some points in our lives and we have had little at other times. I like it better when we have more. I’m human. But there are always lessons to be learned in leanness. And our family has made a concerted decision to become leaner. It will have its own rewards.
3) At some point, stuff simply becomes fluff. It’s no longer a needed pair of shoes; it’s a luxury pair added to the other luxury pairs lining our closet floors. How much do we really need, after all? I read that tennis great Serena Williams owns at least fifty tank tops. She has an affinity for them. Obviously. I admit to having an affinity for certain things, too. And I have made a conscious decision to stop my affinity. How much do I really need? At some point, we need to rationalize a freeze to spending. To freeze lifestyle. Your freezing point may have a different degree than mine. But it’s a question worth asking.
4) Sacrifice always feels better than self-indulgence. While indulging in occasional whims is gratifying and permissible on almost all counts, it never provides long-lasting satisfaction. Sacrifice, on the other hand, requires personal denial, and leaves one feeling like a positive legacy has been cast as a direct result. I highly encourage everyone to sacrifice one tenth of their resources to those less fortunate, whether you believe you are able to do so or not. Begin slowly, if you must. And work up to any amount over and above a ten percent benchmark. When we sought counsel from one of our ministers at to a “before- tax” or “after-tax” ten percent, his response was simple: “Do you want before-tax or after-tax blessings?”
5) Give thanks for each and every blessing and count them often. Take nothing for granted. Not your health nor your strength nor your relationships nor your home nor your job nor your leisure. It all comes from above and needs to be acknowledged as such.
As you sift and sort through the receipts and bank statements that in many ways define how you are living your life, I hope that you take some time to think of how you can become an even better steward…and of ways in which personal sacrifice will lead you to a more saint-like existence.
Stuff really does become fluff when too much stuff occupies your everyday spaces, your everyday finances and your everyday thoughts. That’s when it’s truly Fluff the Magic Dragon. Don’t let its fire breathe too heavily down your neck.
Blessings on your week,
Carolina
Monday, February 27, 2006
Monday, February 13, 2006
Simple Love Acts
“Be not forgetful to entertain strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.” The Bible
The third-biggest retailing holiday is one day away. Just behind Christmas and Father’s Day, Valentine’s Day will be celebrated by spending $13 billion on anything heart-shaped, chocolate-flavored or rose-scented.
While never refusing dark chocolate nor snubbing floral deliveries, I’m just not into either this year. OK. Maybe I’m still into chocolate. My hubby will be out-of-town on Valentine’s Day, so it just won’t be a very big deal; it’ll be celebrated upon his return. But apparently, very few others feel the same way. A recent report by Kiplinger’s found that men out-spend women three to one, spending an average of $92. Last year, 175 million roses were produced for Valentine’s Day alone, more than enough for every adult in America to get one.
Frankly, I’ve never been one to fall wholeheartedly into the whole Valentine’s Day ritual. Don’t buy my hubby silk boxers with little hearts all over them; don’t question our marriage if he walks in the door sans roses. So rather than give you yet another creative take on the Valentine’s Day “holiday,” I’m going to brag about a fellow rocket mom.
My friend, Kim, rocket mom to four kids (all within five years) sent out via email an invitation to a “Chicken Soup for the Soul” luncheon at her home. I had assumed that she was including her closest friends, but it turned out that she was inviting only those women who were serving in various caretaking—or shepherding—capacities at our church for her children. She wanted it to be casual; again, I assumed it was kind of a “drop-in-as-you-feel-like-it” kind of a party. But instead, it was a sit-down affair, with homemade chicken soup, salad, rolls and home-baked cookies.
Kim made a conscious decision to make adult friendships a high priority in her life, and despite feelings of being overwhelmed, or of being intimidated by entertaining styles of some of her other acquaintances, she was inspired to do something simple, yet meaningful.
After a lovely afternoon of lunching with new and old friends, Kim presented us with Valentine’s goodies bags: chocolates tied with a pretty ribbon and a quote, each of us receiving something unique.
“I believe your quote will speak directly to you,“ Kim said as, one by one, we read our quotes and nodded, some of us with lumps in our throats, about the uncanny effect that this little ritual had on us. (Sort of like opening a Chinese fortune cookie to discover what seems like a “fortune” written just for you, only better…)
When I reflect back on those memories which evoke the strongest sentiments, invariably they include those times when someone enveloped me into her cocoon, wrapping me with simple things, like hot food, fresh coffee and undivided attention. When a girlfriend grabbed me for my birthday or for moving away or just after childbirth, to enjoy a warm meal surrounded by all the creature comforts of her home. Those special times don’t come all that frequently, and so we remember them with special fondness. And so the older I get, the more convicted I become to practice hospitality to others when opportunities spring into my path.
This weekend, we had the opportunity to extend hospitality to a traveling drama troupe from Cape Cod. They were to perform the 15th century play, Everyman, in our town, before we got buried under the 26” of snow which hit the entire northeast corridor early Sunday morning. The team of eight needed three different homes in which to stay, and we offered ours as one of them. The plans took an obvious shift when we became stranded at home, as we sit on top of a mountain at the mercy of a private snow plower. So what we thought would be a weekend of entertaining for a couple of meals and a few warm beds turned into a solid two days of long chats by the fire, a half-dozen pots of coffee and a few more times around the kitchen table than we had originally planned.
And we were all so blessed. One of the gentlemen whom we housed remarked: “I’ll bet in twenty years you’ll all look back on this weekend and say ‘Remember when those three guys from the Cape came and stayed with us and we got stuck in the biggest snowstorm to have ever hit New England?’”
And of course, we all will.
There’s a game which is frequently played in adult discussion circles which goes something like: “Write down the names of three Academy Award winners for Best Actress; write down the names of three Olympian gold-medal winners; write down the names of blah-blah-blah.” (You get the idea) It finishes by asking you to write down the names of three teachers you had an impact on your life.
And of course, we can do that without batting our eyes.
Human connection. Extension. Intimate interaction. That’s what has impact. That’s what has meaning. Evokes the strongest memories. Conveys true love.
So on Valentine’s Day this year, I will try to do those seemingly small yet powerful love acts that might, in some way, have eternal significance. Flowers? Chocolate? Yeah. They’re all great. But opening my door to a stranger. Giving my hubby and my kids undivided attention. Leaving simple gifts on my children’s pillows. Writing a meaningful letter. Calling a long-lost friend. Following Kim’s example of hospitality. Those will be my inspirations for Valentine’s Day this year.
I hope you have a love-filled Valentine’s Day. In whatever form you think best defines it.
Hugsandkisses,
Carolina
The third-biggest retailing holiday is one day away. Just behind Christmas and Father’s Day, Valentine’s Day will be celebrated by spending $13 billion on anything heart-shaped, chocolate-flavored or rose-scented.
While never refusing dark chocolate nor snubbing floral deliveries, I’m just not into either this year. OK. Maybe I’m still into chocolate. My hubby will be out-of-town on Valentine’s Day, so it just won’t be a very big deal; it’ll be celebrated upon his return. But apparently, very few others feel the same way. A recent report by Kiplinger’s found that men out-spend women three to one, spending an average of $92. Last year, 175 million roses were produced for Valentine’s Day alone, more than enough for every adult in America to get one.
Frankly, I’ve never been one to fall wholeheartedly into the whole Valentine’s Day ritual. Don’t buy my hubby silk boxers with little hearts all over them; don’t question our marriage if he walks in the door sans roses. So rather than give you yet another creative take on the Valentine’s Day “holiday,” I’m going to brag about a fellow rocket mom.
My friend, Kim, rocket mom to four kids (all within five years) sent out via email an invitation to a “Chicken Soup for the Soul” luncheon at her home. I had assumed that she was including her closest friends, but it turned out that she was inviting only those women who were serving in various caretaking—or shepherding—capacities at our church for her children. She wanted it to be casual; again, I assumed it was kind of a “drop-in-as-you-feel-like-it” kind of a party. But instead, it was a sit-down affair, with homemade chicken soup, salad, rolls and home-baked cookies.
Kim made a conscious decision to make adult friendships a high priority in her life, and despite feelings of being overwhelmed, or of being intimidated by entertaining styles of some of her other acquaintances, she was inspired to do something simple, yet meaningful.
After a lovely afternoon of lunching with new and old friends, Kim presented us with Valentine’s goodies bags: chocolates tied with a pretty ribbon and a quote, each of us receiving something unique.
“I believe your quote will speak directly to you,“ Kim said as, one by one, we read our quotes and nodded, some of us with lumps in our throats, about the uncanny effect that this little ritual had on us. (Sort of like opening a Chinese fortune cookie to discover what seems like a “fortune” written just for you, only better…)
When I reflect back on those memories which evoke the strongest sentiments, invariably they include those times when someone enveloped me into her cocoon, wrapping me with simple things, like hot food, fresh coffee and undivided attention. When a girlfriend grabbed me for my birthday or for moving away or just after childbirth, to enjoy a warm meal surrounded by all the creature comforts of her home. Those special times don’t come all that frequently, and so we remember them with special fondness. And so the older I get, the more convicted I become to practice hospitality to others when opportunities spring into my path.
This weekend, we had the opportunity to extend hospitality to a traveling drama troupe from Cape Cod. They were to perform the 15th century play, Everyman, in our town, before we got buried under the 26” of snow which hit the entire northeast corridor early Sunday morning. The team of eight needed three different homes in which to stay, and we offered ours as one of them. The plans took an obvious shift when we became stranded at home, as we sit on top of a mountain at the mercy of a private snow plower. So what we thought would be a weekend of entertaining for a couple of meals and a few warm beds turned into a solid two days of long chats by the fire, a half-dozen pots of coffee and a few more times around the kitchen table than we had originally planned.
And we were all so blessed. One of the gentlemen whom we housed remarked: “I’ll bet in twenty years you’ll all look back on this weekend and say ‘Remember when those three guys from the Cape came and stayed with us and we got stuck in the biggest snowstorm to have ever hit New England?’”
And of course, we all will.
There’s a game which is frequently played in adult discussion circles which goes something like: “Write down the names of three Academy Award winners for Best Actress; write down the names of three Olympian gold-medal winners; write down the names of blah-blah-blah.” (You get the idea) It finishes by asking you to write down the names of three teachers you had an impact on your life.
And of course, we can do that without batting our eyes.
Human connection. Extension. Intimate interaction. That’s what has impact. That’s what has meaning. Evokes the strongest memories. Conveys true love.
So on Valentine’s Day this year, I will try to do those seemingly small yet powerful love acts that might, in some way, have eternal significance. Flowers? Chocolate? Yeah. They’re all great. But opening my door to a stranger. Giving my hubby and my kids undivided attention. Leaving simple gifts on my children’s pillows. Writing a meaningful letter. Calling a long-lost friend. Following Kim’s example of hospitality. Those will be my inspirations for Valentine’s Day this year.
I hope you have a love-filled Valentine’s Day. In whatever form you think best defines it.
Hugsandkisses,
Carolina
Monday, February 06, 2006
Playing Hurt
“Do not look forward to what might happen tomorrow: The same God who cares for you today will take care of you and yours tomorrow and everyday. Either God will shield you from suffering or God will give you unfailing strength to bear it. Be at peace then and put aside all anxious thoughts and imaginations.” St Francis Desales
“Hands down,” my husband said. “It’s Super Bowl Sunday and you need to write another “Playing Hurt” Newsletter.
It was a tradition started by our old pastor and dear friend, Wayne Smith, arguably one of the most influential Christian pastors in America. He preached tirelessly for over forty years to the faithful who, Sunday after Sunday, both drove great distances to hear him preach as well as sat in bumper-to-bumper traffic for endless miles of the stretch down the only highway leading to the mammoth church in Kentucky. His message was always divinely inspired, but it was his yearly “Playing Hurt” sermon on Super Bowl Sunday that drew the ravest reviews.
It’s because most of us are playing hurt. In one way or another.
And so I wrote my first “Playing Hurt” Newsletter last year, as I played “excruciatingly hurt” when Nick got diagnosed with cancer. Am I worry-free now? Completely walking in faith without shuffling in fear? Absolutely not. I’m only human. I still play hurt on some days, like I did this Thursday when I got a phone call from him saying that he had a fever and was in the doctor’s office. My stomach moved to my throat; my heart raced faster; and my mind played mental gymnastics that were something less than limber.
I admit to playing hurt this year for entirely different reasons. I’m a tad bit physically hurt...but it’s that “good hurt” that comes from exhausting exercise, the kind that I didn’t get quite enough of last year because of Nick’s treatment. It’s similar to the kind of hurt that the football players in the Super Bowl play through. Achy muscle hurt. Broken bone hurt. Sore ribs hurt. As the football players stay in the game despite their hurt (did you catch the player riding the stationary bike through a pulled groin?), I booked a tennis game for tomorrow morning. Despite a throbbing previously-broken shoulder and a throbbing-even-more previously-shattered leg. I need to play hurt to make my body even stronger. Professional football players stay in the Super Bowl with broken fingers, pounding muscles, and aching heads. They stick it out until the end. Keep their eye on the ball. Until the game is over and a winner declared.
This year finds many friends of mine suffering emotional pain, and I’m playing hurt with them. Fractured relationships, parenting challenges, strained marriages. Playing hurt while helping them sort out difficult issues. And I have my own playing hurt issues to resolve, too. Disappointments on the business and personal side that require healing.
And these long, bitter days of winter don’t exactly help to lift our spirits, do they? Full of bleakness and of gray, devoid of sunshine and flowers, our landscapes are marked by leafless trees and barely-bubbling creeks. The dreariness makes it even easier to bathe in hurt and in pain. To become depressed with feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. With little in the next weeks to look forward to other than a possible delivery from the florist on Valentine’s Day or the surprise of some dark chocolate, it’s almost “natural” to walk around playing completely hurt. No bright, happy colors in wardrobes or nature to inspire and delight our senses, playing hurt in January seems a logical choice.
All of us play hurt at some point in our lives. It's not the
playing hurt that separates us from the rest; it's how we choose
to play when we play hurt. I am fully aware that when I play sad
when playing hurt, that I do not play my best game. Because I
wallow in too much self-pity and take my eye off the ball. I am
also fully aware that when I play scared when playing hurt I do
not play my best game, either. Because then I live in fear
instead of in faith. And when I play angry, I play a pretty
horrible game, too. Because then I get cranky with everyone
around me and take all the fun out of things. Playing angry when
playing hurt serves no useful purpose at all; I need to clean out a closet or sweep the hardwood floors on those days.
When I play hurt, I need to play strong. I need to abandon fear and worry and instead, incorporate a walk in faith. "The Lord is near the broken-hearted and saves the crushed in spirit." I need to stop playing angry and get on with the game. I need to enter into the game with joy and with hope, for "those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and
not grow weary; they will walk and not grow faint."
Playing hurt is never as much fun as playing pain-free. Not in football nor in tennis nor in life. But playing hurt is something that, every now and then, we are forced to play. And sometimes through it, but certainly in the end, we'll see the beauty in strength. "…strength that endures the unendurable and spills over into joy, thanking the Father who makes us strong enough to take part in everything bright and beautiful that He has for us." (Colossians 1: 11-12)
With daffodils and sunshine just around the corner, I pray that whether you’re playing hurt or playing strong, you will gain strength with each passing day and that you will eventually soar like the eagles. Just like the pros at the Super Bowl.
Blessings on your week,
Carolina
“Hands down,” my husband said. “It’s Super Bowl Sunday and you need to write another “Playing Hurt” Newsletter.
It was a tradition started by our old pastor and dear friend, Wayne Smith, arguably one of the most influential Christian pastors in America. He preached tirelessly for over forty years to the faithful who, Sunday after Sunday, both drove great distances to hear him preach as well as sat in bumper-to-bumper traffic for endless miles of the stretch down the only highway leading to the mammoth church in Kentucky. His message was always divinely inspired, but it was his yearly “Playing Hurt” sermon on Super Bowl Sunday that drew the ravest reviews.
It’s because most of us are playing hurt. In one way or another.
And so I wrote my first “Playing Hurt” Newsletter last year, as I played “excruciatingly hurt” when Nick got diagnosed with cancer. Am I worry-free now? Completely walking in faith without shuffling in fear? Absolutely not. I’m only human. I still play hurt on some days, like I did this Thursday when I got a phone call from him saying that he had a fever and was in the doctor’s office. My stomach moved to my throat; my heart raced faster; and my mind played mental gymnastics that were something less than limber.
I admit to playing hurt this year for entirely different reasons. I’m a tad bit physically hurt...but it’s that “good hurt” that comes from exhausting exercise, the kind that I didn’t get quite enough of last year because of Nick’s treatment. It’s similar to the kind of hurt that the football players in the Super Bowl play through. Achy muscle hurt. Broken bone hurt. Sore ribs hurt. As the football players stay in the game despite their hurt (did you catch the player riding the stationary bike through a pulled groin?), I booked a tennis game for tomorrow morning. Despite a throbbing previously-broken shoulder and a throbbing-even-more previously-shattered leg. I need to play hurt to make my body even stronger. Professional football players stay in the Super Bowl with broken fingers, pounding muscles, and aching heads. They stick it out until the end. Keep their eye on the ball. Until the game is over and a winner declared.
This year finds many friends of mine suffering emotional pain, and I’m playing hurt with them. Fractured relationships, parenting challenges, strained marriages. Playing hurt while helping them sort out difficult issues. And I have my own playing hurt issues to resolve, too. Disappointments on the business and personal side that require healing.
And these long, bitter days of winter don’t exactly help to lift our spirits, do they? Full of bleakness and of gray, devoid of sunshine and flowers, our landscapes are marked by leafless trees and barely-bubbling creeks. The dreariness makes it even easier to bathe in hurt and in pain. To become depressed with feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. With little in the next weeks to look forward to other than a possible delivery from the florist on Valentine’s Day or the surprise of some dark chocolate, it’s almost “natural” to walk around playing completely hurt. No bright, happy colors in wardrobes or nature to inspire and delight our senses, playing hurt in January seems a logical choice.
All of us play hurt at some point in our lives. It's not the
playing hurt that separates us from the rest; it's how we choose
to play when we play hurt. I am fully aware that when I play sad
when playing hurt, that I do not play my best game. Because I
wallow in too much self-pity and take my eye off the ball. I am
also fully aware that when I play scared when playing hurt I do
not play my best game, either. Because then I live in fear
instead of in faith. And when I play angry, I play a pretty
horrible game, too. Because then I get cranky with everyone
around me and take all the fun out of things. Playing angry when
playing hurt serves no useful purpose at all; I need to clean out a closet or sweep the hardwood floors on those days.
When I play hurt, I need to play strong. I need to abandon fear and worry and instead, incorporate a walk in faith. "The Lord is near the broken-hearted and saves the crushed in spirit." I need to stop playing angry and get on with the game. I need to enter into the game with joy and with hope, for "those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and
not grow weary; they will walk and not grow faint."
Playing hurt is never as much fun as playing pain-free. Not in football nor in tennis nor in life. But playing hurt is something that, every now and then, we are forced to play. And sometimes through it, but certainly in the end, we'll see the beauty in strength. "…strength that endures the unendurable and spills over into joy, thanking the Father who makes us strong enough to take part in everything bright and beautiful that He has for us." (Colossians 1: 11-12)
With daffodils and sunshine just around the corner, I pray that whether you’re playing hurt or playing strong, you will gain strength with each passing day and that you will eventually soar like the eagles. Just like the pros at the Super Bowl.
Blessings on your week,
Carolina
Monday, January 30, 2006
A Day in the Life
I confess to being exhausted. Up early on little sleep anyway, I preached two sermons for Laity Sunday at our church, and then immediately drove the hour-plus drive into New York City to accompany 40 kids with our Youth Symphony to Carnegie Hall for a concert by the Met Orchestra (under James Levine’s conducting. It was glorious.) Beat up from the long drive back on an empty stomach, I came home to a sick 16-year-old and a husband who think he caught part of same. So rather than slave over a Newsletter—or search my soul for a tidbit of widsom—I am including a note that recently came in from a reader. It speaks perfectly to what we moms face on a daily basis, and I thought you might enjoy it as much as I did. (And please keep those emails coming…you never know when I’ll really need to use your material, too! Enjoy!
“Awoke this morning and assumed my position as Head Chef at Chez Michelle. This morning’s fare consisted of brightly colored perfectly toasted wheat morsels topped with a sprinkling of confectioners sugar and served with latte. (AKA cold cereal and milk.)
Then, as Vice President of Human Resources, I negotiated with personnel concerning the proper dress code for the daily workplace.
Next, I was off to the store to fulfill my duties as Purchasing Agent for a number of clients, including the Herbeck Corporation, Georgianna United Methodist Church, and South Merritt Island Little League. (Note: the previous Purchasing Agent (shop-a-holic husband, Gary) has been demoted for his inability to understand the concept of budgeting, thus plunging the Herbeck Corporation into deficit spending.) After carefully managing the supply chain for my clients, I came home to begin domestic engineering.
Using my skills as House Veterinarian, I applied medication on canine ear infections.
I am currently planning the afternoon’s logistics in my capacity as Director of Transportation. Today’s travel demands include musical education, chess competition, art education and physical education.
As Sports Team Manager, I will be providing for the nutritional needs of the players this afternoon. (See supply chain management above.)
Immediately following the teams practice, I will assume the duties of Wardrobe Director. The youngest personnel will change into their pajamas for a “Bedtime Story Night” at school.
Upon arriving back at Herbeck Headquarters, I assume my Superintendent of Schools duties, preparing the older personnel for her classroom activities tomorrow.
Whew! No wonder I am tired. I think I’ll take an OSHA required break now.”
By Michelle Herbeck, Rocket Mom of 13 year old girl and 7 year-old boy
A Rocket Mom Society Note
We kicked off the Society with our first meeting Tuesday night: “G.A.T.: Getting your Act Together: Goal-Setting and Vision-Casting. Notes are posted on our web site: http://rms.clubexpress.com for your viewing. Note: the parenting resources on the site are for members only. Details on membership are also on the site. Please check out our calendar, too, for a year’s worth of events. You can join as a virtual member if you do not wish to attend monthly society meetings or if you are not interested in forming a chapter in your area.
“Awoke this morning and assumed my position as Head Chef at Chez Michelle. This morning’s fare consisted of brightly colored perfectly toasted wheat morsels topped with a sprinkling of confectioners sugar and served with latte. (AKA cold cereal and milk.)
Then, as Vice President of Human Resources, I negotiated with personnel concerning the proper dress code for the daily workplace.
Next, I was off to the store to fulfill my duties as Purchasing Agent for a number of clients, including the Herbeck Corporation, Georgianna United Methodist Church, and South Merritt Island Little League. (Note: the previous Purchasing Agent (shop-a-holic husband, Gary) has been demoted for his inability to understand the concept of budgeting, thus plunging the Herbeck Corporation into deficit spending.) After carefully managing the supply chain for my clients, I came home to begin domestic engineering.
Using my skills as House Veterinarian, I applied medication on canine ear infections.
I am currently planning the afternoon’s logistics in my capacity as Director of Transportation. Today’s travel demands include musical education, chess competition, art education and physical education.
As Sports Team Manager, I will be providing for the nutritional needs of the players this afternoon. (See supply chain management above.)
Immediately following the teams practice, I will assume the duties of Wardrobe Director. The youngest personnel will change into their pajamas for a “Bedtime Story Night” at school.
Upon arriving back at Herbeck Headquarters, I assume my Superintendent of Schools duties, preparing the older personnel for her classroom activities tomorrow.
Whew! No wonder I am tired. I think I’ll take an OSHA required break now.”
By Michelle Herbeck, Rocket Mom of 13 year old girl and 7 year-old boy
A Rocket Mom Society Note
We kicked off the Society with our first meeting Tuesday night: “G.A.T.: Getting your Act Together: Goal-Setting and Vision-Casting. Notes are posted on our web site: http://rms.clubexpress.com for your viewing. Note: the parenting resources on the site are for members only. Details on membership are also on the site. Please check out our calendar, too, for a year’s worth of events. You can join as a virtual member if you do not wish to attend monthly society meetings or if you are not interested in forming a chapter in your area.
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
It's All About Process
The northeast corridor got clobbered by heavy snow and ice this week, leaving many parts of the New York City metropolitan area without power for several days. Our tiny town was no exception; most of Ridgefield was without electricity all day Wednesday. Extended empathy for victims of Katrina and last year’s Asian tsunami immediately bubbled to the forefront of my thoughts. And everyone in our family reflected with some sadness at the extent to which we rely on electricity and running water. No water, no coffee, no phone, no internet.
There went my plans for the day. Enjoying a morning shower (something I take for granted after a tough workout) was like hanging my hat upon a star, as was working on my web site (I’m in the middle of an internet remodeling project), returning phone calls and catching up on laundry. Visions of escaping to the nearest town for both a mall and a movie theater experience was looking better and better, until I re-examined my schedule and realized that there were certain responsibilities that I needed to keep, if in any way possible. Conference call (hmmm…could be done by cell phone I suppose, even though I’d have to at least idle my car in order to charge my phone battery and aren’t gas prices at an all-time high?); violin lessons (no excuse there as the music school did indeed have power); bill-paying (turns out you can do that by candlelight if you have to). And, like it or not, even the reds can get separated from the whites on the laundry room floor in the light of day.
So we grunted it out, the kids and I. While hubby was in sunny Florida for a three-day retreat (fate has had him out of town during most of our power outages), we made do as best we could in the absence of all imaginable resources and well as my knight in shining armor.
We were sailing along swimmingly (it’s quite amazing what a large hot cup of joe can do for downtrodden spirits, even if one has to drive across two town lines to get it) when just before I turned onto the main street leading to the music school, a tire on my van went completely flat. Nada. Down to the metal of the rim. It would only figure. Ernie out-of-town. Perfect time to be a sweated-stinky-bad-haired-cold-hungry-damsel-in-distress. Happens every time.
Having just finished my conference call, I was, mentally at least, still absorbed in its message: it’s all about process. The lesson was being applied to the business of professional writing and speaking, but now, with two tired and thirsty kids in the back seat and me with a completely immovable lop-sided van in a town other than my own, I kept reminding myself: “It’s aIl about process, Carolina. Take a deep breath and move through the process.”
Like becoming a writer or lecturer of stature, becoming a seasoned mother is all about process. As a writer with a single published article does not an expert make, nor does a mother with a single newborn babe. It takes years and years of trial and error, mistakes and victories, rejection and acceptance to finally “make it.”
It’s a process.
I recalled rather quickly one of my first flat-tire experiences. Even though I do not remember it as occurring on a day in which we also lost power (a rather strange mixture of circumstances indeed), it was nonetheless distressing. Waiting for rescue with small-children-strapped-helplessly-to-car-seats in tow, eventual repair was not comfortable even ten years ago. And I was nothing short of a bumbling flat-tire novice (or idiot, depending on whom you talk to.) Didn’t know the first thing about how to deal with the task at hand. Call AAA or call hubby? Get out of the car or stay put? Get someone to put on the spare of get towed to the nearest tire store? Laugh about it or burst into tears?
But having lived through a number of flat tires…and power outages, coffee withdrawals and bad hair days….I endured the process much better this time around (even though the no-power no-food no-coffee combination thing was not especially enjoyable nor entertaining). But I understood (kind of anyway) what to do. Call AAA from my cell phone (which I charged on my car’s battery while driving the thirty miles to violin lessons); let the kids walk the three blocks to their lessons (despite my fear of foul play along the way); phone hubby for sympathy (enduring him telling me that my plan was wrong and that I should opt for Plan B); and take a cat nap while enduring the wait (versus the whole bursting into tears routine.) And after the spare is put on, celebrate by driving to the nearest mall-with-a-Sears-auto-shop-attached for a new tire, dinner and quick shopping experience.
The process took more than five hours to complete. And it’s not that it was funner than it’s been in times past. I was still thirstier than usual, I still had leftover sweat clinging to my un-showered body, and I was still suffering from an excruciatingly bad hair day. It’s just that I’ve come further in the process. I’ve endured more emergencies. Faced bigger challenges. Fought bigger battles.
The process of motherhood is not about immediate results. Quick fixes. Flash-in-the-pan success. Motherhood requires embracing the challenges that come our way on a near-daily basis. Embracing difficulty. And pain. Suffering. And growing in the process. The act of going through the process has its own lessons. And its own rewards.
Growing up is not especially easy. (Look at any pre-pubescent boy if you need further evidence.) It involves introspection. Hard knocks. Falling flat on your face. But the process is inevitable, and you won’t be the kind of mom you want to become unless you go through it.
Embrace the process. However painful, endure the growing pains. While they keep coming years after you think they should well be over, embrace your role through them. No one ever told you it would be easy. No one ever told you it would take this long. But it’s not about easily measurable—or easily attainable— results. It’s mostly all about the process.
Blessings on your week.
Carolina
A Rocket Mom Society Note
The first meeting will be held this week at the Mother Ship on Tuesday night, January 24th, from 7:30-9:00 PM. Email Carolina for directions: emomrx@yahoo.com. Please bring a friend, paper and (happy-colored ink) pen. Light refreshments will be served and a “G.A.T.” meeting discussing goal-setting and vision-casting—with specific strategies for both—will follow. Please see: http://rms.clubexpress.com to sign-up. You may also register at the first meeting.
There went my plans for the day. Enjoying a morning shower (something I take for granted after a tough workout) was like hanging my hat upon a star, as was working on my web site (I’m in the middle of an internet remodeling project), returning phone calls and catching up on laundry. Visions of escaping to the nearest town for both a mall and a movie theater experience was looking better and better, until I re-examined my schedule and realized that there were certain responsibilities that I needed to keep, if in any way possible. Conference call (hmmm…could be done by cell phone I suppose, even though I’d have to at least idle my car in order to charge my phone battery and aren’t gas prices at an all-time high?); violin lessons (no excuse there as the music school did indeed have power); bill-paying (turns out you can do that by candlelight if you have to). And, like it or not, even the reds can get separated from the whites on the laundry room floor in the light of day.
So we grunted it out, the kids and I. While hubby was in sunny Florida for a three-day retreat (fate has had him out of town during most of our power outages), we made do as best we could in the absence of all imaginable resources and well as my knight in shining armor.
We were sailing along swimmingly (it’s quite amazing what a large hot cup of joe can do for downtrodden spirits, even if one has to drive across two town lines to get it) when just before I turned onto the main street leading to the music school, a tire on my van went completely flat. Nada. Down to the metal of the rim. It would only figure. Ernie out-of-town. Perfect time to be a sweated-stinky-bad-haired-cold-hungry-damsel-in-distress. Happens every time.
Having just finished my conference call, I was, mentally at least, still absorbed in its message: it’s all about process. The lesson was being applied to the business of professional writing and speaking, but now, with two tired and thirsty kids in the back seat and me with a completely immovable lop-sided van in a town other than my own, I kept reminding myself: “It’s aIl about process, Carolina. Take a deep breath and move through the process.”
Like becoming a writer or lecturer of stature, becoming a seasoned mother is all about process. As a writer with a single published article does not an expert make, nor does a mother with a single newborn babe. It takes years and years of trial and error, mistakes and victories, rejection and acceptance to finally “make it.”
It’s a process.
I recalled rather quickly one of my first flat-tire experiences. Even though I do not remember it as occurring on a day in which we also lost power (a rather strange mixture of circumstances indeed), it was nonetheless distressing. Waiting for rescue with small-children-strapped-helplessly-to-car-seats in tow, eventual repair was not comfortable even ten years ago. And I was nothing short of a bumbling flat-tire novice (or idiot, depending on whom you talk to.) Didn’t know the first thing about how to deal with the task at hand. Call AAA or call hubby? Get out of the car or stay put? Get someone to put on the spare of get towed to the nearest tire store? Laugh about it or burst into tears?
But having lived through a number of flat tires…and power outages, coffee withdrawals and bad hair days….I endured the process much better this time around (even though the no-power no-food no-coffee combination thing was not especially enjoyable nor entertaining). But I understood (kind of anyway) what to do. Call AAA from my cell phone (which I charged on my car’s battery while driving the thirty miles to violin lessons); let the kids walk the three blocks to their lessons (despite my fear of foul play along the way); phone hubby for sympathy (enduring him telling me that my plan was wrong and that I should opt for Plan B); and take a cat nap while enduring the wait (versus the whole bursting into tears routine.) And after the spare is put on, celebrate by driving to the nearest mall-with-a-Sears-auto-shop-attached for a new tire, dinner and quick shopping experience.
The process took more than five hours to complete. And it’s not that it was funner than it’s been in times past. I was still thirstier than usual, I still had leftover sweat clinging to my un-showered body, and I was still suffering from an excruciatingly bad hair day. It’s just that I’ve come further in the process. I’ve endured more emergencies. Faced bigger challenges. Fought bigger battles.
The process of motherhood is not about immediate results. Quick fixes. Flash-in-the-pan success. Motherhood requires embracing the challenges that come our way on a near-daily basis. Embracing difficulty. And pain. Suffering. And growing in the process. The act of going through the process has its own lessons. And its own rewards.
Growing up is not especially easy. (Look at any pre-pubescent boy if you need further evidence.) It involves introspection. Hard knocks. Falling flat on your face. But the process is inevitable, and you won’t be the kind of mom you want to become unless you go through it.
Embrace the process. However painful, endure the growing pains. While they keep coming years after you think they should well be over, embrace your role through them. No one ever told you it would be easy. No one ever told you it would take this long. But it’s not about easily measurable—or easily attainable— results. It’s mostly all about the process.
Blessings on your week.
Carolina
A Rocket Mom Society Note
The first meeting will be held this week at the Mother Ship on Tuesday night, January 24th, from 7:30-9:00 PM. Email Carolina for directions: emomrx@yahoo.com. Please bring a friend, paper and (happy-colored ink) pen. Light refreshments will be served and a “G.A.T.” meeting discussing goal-setting and vision-casting—with specific strategies for both—will follow. Please see: http://rms.clubexpress.com to sign-up. You may also register at the first meeting.
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
Fresh Start
You almost can’t help yourself: cleaning up the house after the holidays practically forces you to take the broom and vacuum cleaner…not to mention the Windex, counter scrub and mildew repellent…roll up your sleeves and wipe up any and all messes throughout the house.
Having spent the good part of last week settling Nick into college 650 miles from home, I needed to attend to the business of taking down my Christmas decorations at the earliest possible moment this week. When I could find a whopping eight hours with nothing better to do (mail-bill-laundry-catch-up notwithstanding).
If it were up to me, the tree would stay up all year long. In fact, about ten years ago, I did just that: never took my stuff down. Kept it all up ‘til the next Christmas. I loved everything about it: it provided enormous savings of my personal time, it was quite beautiful to look at—all lit up at night—and it served as a near-constant reminder to keep the spirit of Christmas alive each and every day of the year.
And then I got a phone call one night from the driver of our local pharmacy, asking a most perplexed: “Mrs. Fernandez, I’m just calling because as I was making a delivery in your neighborhood, I happened to notice that you had a Christmas tree in your living room window. Just thought you’d like to know.”
(So was he calling to make sure that I knew I still had my tree up or did he want me to know that he knew that I still had my tree up? As if I couldn’t see for myself….)
Point is, although it was truly wonderful, it was a tad bit too eccentric to carry off year after year after year.
So I endure the ritual—as you undoubtedly do, too—of taking everything down a week or so after the holidays. I spent the good part of Sunday dismantling swags. Lovingly wrapping angel wings. Putting my Spode Christmas Tree china back into protective boxes. And now my house looks lighter. Emptier, to be sure. No twelve-foot tree in my entryway. No lights in the windows. No angels. Nor Saint Nicks. No greens. Nor scent of Votivo’s “Joie de Noel” candles wafting through my home….
But it is cleaner. New Year. Clean slate.
Wiping things clean provokes an energetic response to action. To tackling resolutions. Writing letters. Paying bills. Organizing calendars. Initiating social invitations. Sewing on loose buttons. Removing stains. Filling in photo albums. Organizing closets. Donating clothing to charities. Throwing away garbage. Discarding old medicines. Filing medical stuff. Alphabetizing CD’s. Re-grouping books. Polishing silver. Waxing the furniture. Reupholstering. Finishing paintings. Hooking new rugs. Tying new flies.
OK. Now I’m exhausted.
But they don’t call it “New Year” for nothin’. It’s a time to start anew. To wipe the slate clean of all of your baggage, garbage and overage. And get on with brand spankin’ new. Fresh. Vibrant. Clear. Clean.
Surely you’re ahead of me. Did this a couple weeks ago. But have or have not: now is the time to grab the New Year by the horns and tackle ideas and issues, projects and plans, and agendas and activities and find homes for them. Be they homes within your home or homes within your brain; homes on your kitchen calendar pages or homes within your children’s drawers. Grab hold of the energy and power which this New Year brings and move forward. With creativity and verve! Take a step. Any step. And begin!
Until next week,
Carolina
A Nick Note
If you’d like to send something to Nick via the US Postal Service:
Nick Fernandez
PO Box 6031
Reynolda Station
Wake Forest University
Winston-Salem, NC 27109
A Rocket Mom Society Note
Mark your calendars for our first meeting: Tuesday evening, January 24th, from 7:30-9:00 PM at the Mother Ship. Email Carolina for directions: emomrx@yahoo.com. Topic: G.A.T. (Getting your Act Together) re: creating a vision for your family, crafting mission and vision statements and individual and family goals. Be prepared for “Show and Tell.” We want to know how you’re doing this, too! Pre-sign-ups at: http:// rms.clubexpress.com. Or feel free to do it at our first meeting.
You may also register as a purely virtual member. Or start a chapter of your own! Details: www.rocketmom.com. Or call or email me!
A Quick Note
If you live in Fairfield County, CT, tune in to Comcast’s Community Access Cable TV show “Moms Gone Mad” where Carolina will be interviewed on Wednesday at 10 AM. The interview will also be posted on the Rocket Mom Society site for members.
Having spent the good part of last week settling Nick into college 650 miles from home, I needed to attend to the business of taking down my Christmas decorations at the earliest possible moment this week. When I could find a whopping eight hours with nothing better to do (mail-bill-laundry-catch-up notwithstanding).
If it were up to me, the tree would stay up all year long. In fact, about ten years ago, I did just that: never took my stuff down. Kept it all up ‘til the next Christmas. I loved everything about it: it provided enormous savings of my personal time, it was quite beautiful to look at—all lit up at night—and it served as a near-constant reminder to keep the spirit of Christmas alive each and every day of the year.
And then I got a phone call one night from the driver of our local pharmacy, asking a most perplexed: “Mrs. Fernandez, I’m just calling because as I was making a delivery in your neighborhood, I happened to notice that you had a Christmas tree in your living room window. Just thought you’d like to know.”
(So was he calling to make sure that I knew I still had my tree up or did he want me to know that he knew that I still had my tree up? As if I couldn’t see for myself….)
Point is, although it was truly wonderful, it was a tad bit too eccentric to carry off year after year after year.
So I endure the ritual—as you undoubtedly do, too—of taking everything down a week or so after the holidays. I spent the good part of Sunday dismantling swags. Lovingly wrapping angel wings. Putting my Spode Christmas Tree china back into protective boxes. And now my house looks lighter. Emptier, to be sure. No twelve-foot tree in my entryway. No lights in the windows. No angels. Nor Saint Nicks. No greens. Nor scent of Votivo’s “Joie de Noel” candles wafting through my home….
But it is cleaner. New Year. Clean slate.
Wiping things clean provokes an energetic response to action. To tackling resolutions. Writing letters. Paying bills. Organizing calendars. Initiating social invitations. Sewing on loose buttons. Removing stains. Filling in photo albums. Organizing closets. Donating clothing to charities. Throwing away garbage. Discarding old medicines. Filing medical stuff. Alphabetizing CD’s. Re-grouping books. Polishing silver. Waxing the furniture. Reupholstering. Finishing paintings. Hooking new rugs. Tying new flies.
OK. Now I’m exhausted.
But they don’t call it “New Year” for nothin’. It’s a time to start anew. To wipe the slate clean of all of your baggage, garbage and overage. And get on with brand spankin’ new. Fresh. Vibrant. Clear. Clean.
Surely you’re ahead of me. Did this a couple weeks ago. But have or have not: now is the time to grab the New Year by the horns and tackle ideas and issues, projects and plans, and agendas and activities and find homes for them. Be they homes within your home or homes within your brain; homes on your kitchen calendar pages or homes within your children’s drawers. Grab hold of the energy and power which this New Year brings and move forward. With creativity and verve! Take a step. Any step. And begin!
Until next week,
Carolina
A Nick Note
If you’d like to send something to Nick via the US Postal Service:
Nick Fernandez
PO Box 6031
Reynolda Station
Wake Forest University
Winston-Salem, NC 27109
A Rocket Mom Society Note
Mark your calendars for our first meeting: Tuesday evening, January 24th, from 7:30-9:00 PM at the Mother Ship. Email Carolina for directions: emomrx@yahoo.com. Topic: G.A.T. (Getting your Act Together) re: creating a vision for your family, crafting mission and vision statements and individual and family goals. Be prepared for “Show and Tell.” We want to know how you’re doing this, too! Pre-sign-ups at: http:// rms.clubexpress.com. Or feel free to do it at our first meeting.
You may also register as a purely virtual member. Or start a chapter of your own! Details: www.rocketmom.com. Or call or email me!
A Quick Note
If you live in Fairfield County, CT, tune in to Comcast’s Community Access Cable TV show “Moms Gone Mad” where Carolina will be interviewed on Wednesday at 10 AM. The interview will also be posted on the Rocket Mom Society site for members.
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
Releasing
The New Year always starts off with its own set of issues. To-do lists left over from last year stare us in the face, and we resolve to check items off with rapidity just as soon as we find homes for new gifts, pack up Holiday decorations, and settle the kids back into school. Left with the blank canvas of a whole year at our artful mercies, we resolve to tackle things that had been put off in the frenzied moments of December. And so new diets get started, new exercise regimens take hold, and new promises get made for all of those things that we’ve been meaning to do.
As I sit in my hotel room typing this Newsletter, I reflect on the events of the past three days as we’ve been settling Nick into college life down here in Winston-Salem, North Carolina...and preparing ourselves for his healthy and happy release.
Releasing is tough stuff. It requires shedding of the old and welcoming in the new. Offering up the closely-held things of the past and ushering in the unknown mysteries of the future.
Nick has had fourteen months to think about his future at Wake Forest University, where he has just officially enrolled as a freshman today. He’s had fourteen months of anticipation, excitement and wonder at the unknown which lies just before him. Of wondering how he’s going to mix classes with chemo. Or fraternizing with fatigue.
And his father and I have had that time to think about letting him go. Of leaving doctors and nurses—who have taken such excellent care of him these past fourteen months—and embracing new ones with the same love, trust and enthusiasm. Of learning new procedures, new hospitals and new tests. And in the process, navigating around a southern city—with southern grits and southern accents to boot. Of how he’ll handle maintenance chemo without us checking up on him around the clock.
We’ve thought about what it’ll feel like to drive back towards home. All 650 miles of it. About how it’ll feel to no longer hear Nick’s Doc Marten’s clomping down the stairs from his third floor bedroom into the hallway. Or how our family will feel with one less teen. Quieter. Emptier.
Releasing one’s child—like releasing old habits—does not come easily. But sometimes you just have to let go. You know the time has come and, hate it as you do, you have to see if those wings which you have worked so diligently to make strong, will hold that child up by himself.
A couple of dear friends of mine are releasing spouses at the start of the New Year. They’re giving up marriages for reasons as different and as personal as they are. It’s tough. It mixes things up. Turns worlds upside down. Touches children’s lives in ways they never thought they’d have to reconcile. Forces them to fly solo when they’d been used to flying in partnership.
Releasing also sometimes requires thinking about those things that we know we need to get rid of in our lives…as well as those things we know we must let go of over which we have little or no control. Releasing bad habits isn’t exactly the easiest thing in the world to do. Perhaps you’ve resolved this year to eliminate baggage and clutter. Or stop smoking. Give up caffeine. Giving something up almost always leaves a void…as well as a nearly insatiable desire to fill up that space with something else. A different habit or activity. Or different people.
As you look out at the possibilities which this New Year holds for you and your family, first take some time to examine those things—or people—which need releasing. Maybe friendships need to be re-evaluated. Or family ties need to be strengthened—or bound more loosely. Perhaps you need to teach your child to be more independent. Or delicately encourage your aging mother to lean more heavily on your shoulders.
It’s always more refreshing to start anew if old baggage has been properly dealt with. The New Year will most assuredly get off to a better start if you wipe the slate clean before scribbling your long list of should’s and could’s.
So personal reflection is the order of the day. Examining your life and listening to that still voice deep inside you will help you release as needed. Or hold onto people and things that need holding onto.
I look forward to exploring the possibilities of the New Year with you. With enthusiasm and expectant optimism.
All blessings,
Carolina
A Nick Note
With three days away from home—a long drive on Friday followed by moving rituals on Saturday and Sunday—things had been sailing along quite smoothly. On Monday morning, we went to his new hospital to simply meet his new docs and to turn in some paperwork to assure that everyone is on the same page, medically speaking. We quickly discovered, through a routine and quick finger-stick, that not only had his counts plummeted to zero since we left home, but that he needed a two-unit red-blood transfusion as well. I was horrified. We wound up spending eleven hours on Monday in the hospital, where he was admitted for the transfusion ordeal. Our trip back home has been postponed by a day, as we wanted to be here with him while he underwent the transfusion in a brand new place. Needless to say, this was not exactly the release we had imagined. His spirits are great, and we thankfully report that Tuesday morning found him filled with renewed energy. As he is severely neutropenic, he needs to be especially careful to avoid crowds and germs…all of this as he embarks on his college career.
You might guess that this has posed some restraints on my enthusiasm! I will not be releasing Nick with the good cheer for which I had hoped. (It’s a lot easier to write about releasing than it is to endure releasing.) As you keep Nick in your prayers, please keep me covered also. Releasing a healthy first-born to college sends many moms weeping; releasing a neutropenic first-born to college on chemo for leukemia is a lot for me to handle. It will send me to my knees as well as to reach out to any and all friends willing to keep Nick totally covered in prayer. This is tough stuff indeed….
But there are blessings deep inside the experience, and I’m starting to just now see some of them. Maybe that’ll be another Newsletter….
A Rocket Mom Society Note
The newly-forming Rocket Mom Society (RMS) will meet at the Mother Ship in two weeks. The exact launch date and time are TBA tomorrow. (My delayed trip has caused some confusion here; apologies please!)
For the first three months of the year we’ll hold “G.A.T.” meetings: “Getting your Act Together.” January G.A.T.: Developing a vision for your family and outlining family and individual goals; February G.A.T.: Home Organization for the stuff of your life; March G.A.T.: Organizing the papers of your life, including school, office and financials. If you live in or near Fairfield County, Connecticut or Westchester County, New York, and would like to be a part of this group, please check out details at: www.rocketmom.com. Click on “Rocket Mom Society.” Or email Carolina: emomrx@yahoo.com.
As I sit in my hotel room typing this Newsletter, I reflect on the events of the past three days as we’ve been settling Nick into college life down here in Winston-Salem, North Carolina...and preparing ourselves for his healthy and happy release.
Releasing is tough stuff. It requires shedding of the old and welcoming in the new. Offering up the closely-held things of the past and ushering in the unknown mysteries of the future.
Nick has had fourteen months to think about his future at Wake Forest University, where he has just officially enrolled as a freshman today. He’s had fourteen months of anticipation, excitement and wonder at the unknown which lies just before him. Of wondering how he’s going to mix classes with chemo. Or fraternizing with fatigue.
And his father and I have had that time to think about letting him go. Of leaving doctors and nurses—who have taken such excellent care of him these past fourteen months—and embracing new ones with the same love, trust and enthusiasm. Of learning new procedures, new hospitals and new tests. And in the process, navigating around a southern city—with southern grits and southern accents to boot. Of how he’ll handle maintenance chemo without us checking up on him around the clock.
We’ve thought about what it’ll feel like to drive back towards home. All 650 miles of it. About how it’ll feel to no longer hear Nick’s Doc Marten’s clomping down the stairs from his third floor bedroom into the hallway. Or how our family will feel with one less teen. Quieter. Emptier.
Releasing one’s child—like releasing old habits—does not come easily. But sometimes you just have to let go. You know the time has come and, hate it as you do, you have to see if those wings which you have worked so diligently to make strong, will hold that child up by himself.
A couple of dear friends of mine are releasing spouses at the start of the New Year. They’re giving up marriages for reasons as different and as personal as they are. It’s tough. It mixes things up. Turns worlds upside down. Touches children’s lives in ways they never thought they’d have to reconcile. Forces them to fly solo when they’d been used to flying in partnership.
Releasing also sometimes requires thinking about those things that we know we need to get rid of in our lives…as well as those things we know we must let go of over which we have little or no control. Releasing bad habits isn’t exactly the easiest thing in the world to do. Perhaps you’ve resolved this year to eliminate baggage and clutter. Or stop smoking. Give up caffeine. Giving something up almost always leaves a void…as well as a nearly insatiable desire to fill up that space with something else. A different habit or activity. Or different people.
As you look out at the possibilities which this New Year holds for you and your family, first take some time to examine those things—or people—which need releasing. Maybe friendships need to be re-evaluated. Or family ties need to be strengthened—or bound more loosely. Perhaps you need to teach your child to be more independent. Or delicately encourage your aging mother to lean more heavily on your shoulders.
It’s always more refreshing to start anew if old baggage has been properly dealt with. The New Year will most assuredly get off to a better start if you wipe the slate clean before scribbling your long list of should’s and could’s.
So personal reflection is the order of the day. Examining your life and listening to that still voice deep inside you will help you release as needed. Or hold onto people and things that need holding onto.
I look forward to exploring the possibilities of the New Year with you. With enthusiasm and expectant optimism.
All blessings,
Carolina
A Nick Note
With three days away from home—a long drive on Friday followed by moving rituals on Saturday and Sunday—things had been sailing along quite smoothly. On Monday morning, we went to his new hospital to simply meet his new docs and to turn in some paperwork to assure that everyone is on the same page, medically speaking. We quickly discovered, through a routine and quick finger-stick, that not only had his counts plummeted to zero since we left home, but that he needed a two-unit red-blood transfusion as well. I was horrified. We wound up spending eleven hours on Monday in the hospital, where he was admitted for the transfusion ordeal. Our trip back home has been postponed by a day, as we wanted to be here with him while he underwent the transfusion in a brand new place. Needless to say, this was not exactly the release we had imagined. His spirits are great, and we thankfully report that Tuesday morning found him filled with renewed energy. As he is severely neutropenic, he needs to be especially careful to avoid crowds and germs…all of this as he embarks on his college career.
You might guess that this has posed some restraints on my enthusiasm! I will not be releasing Nick with the good cheer for which I had hoped. (It’s a lot easier to write about releasing than it is to endure releasing.) As you keep Nick in your prayers, please keep me covered also. Releasing a healthy first-born to college sends many moms weeping; releasing a neutropenic first-born to college on chemo for leukemia is a lot for me to handle. It will send me to my knees as well as to reach out to any and all friends willing to keep Nick totally covered in prayer. This is tough stuff indeed….
But there are blessings deep inside the experience, and I’m starting to just now see some of them. Maybe that’ll be another Newsletter….
A Rocket Mom Society Note
The newly-forming Rocket Mom Society (RMS) will meet at the Mother Ship in two weeks. The exact launch date and time are TBA tomorrow. (My delayed trip has caused some confusion here; apologies please!)
For the first three months of the year we’ll hold “G.A.T.” meetings: “Getting your Act Together.” January G.A.T.: Developing a vision for your family and outlining family and individual goals; February G.A.T.: Home Organization for the stuff of your life; March G.A.T.: Organizing the papers of your life, including school, office and financials. If you live in or near Fairfield County, Connecticut or Westchester County, New York, and would like to be a part of this group, please check out details at: www.rocketmom.com. Click on “Rocket Mom Society.” Or email Carolina: emomrx@yahoo.com.
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
Embracing the Spirit of Giving
Embracing the Spirit of Giving
“Giving is the style of the universe. Giving is woven into the fabric of existence… Giving is what we do best”. Eugene Peterson
Every year—at about this time—I start writching around to crank things up a notch. To pull out all the stops. To get the house fully decorated for Christmas, get friends and family fully fed with a meal or two, and get special Christmas treats baked, ordered or picked up for festive holiday entertaining. I confess to anticipating the arrival of Christmas every year with a spirit open to its marvelous story. But I engage midway through Advent with a palpable anxiety about getting everything “done.”
Sometimes the pace of the four weeks leading up to Christmas wears me out, and I almost collapse at the mere thought of getting preparations done with even the tiniest bit of flair. And other times, I get a sudden burst of energy and am able to stand in long lines at the post office, the grocery store, my favorite shops or my wrapping counter without breaking a sweat or reaching for a dark chocolate bar. Sometimes, I can go for hours on end without nibbling on a single thing nor feeling the teensiest hunger pang; other times, I feel like I need to have an elephant in the passenger seat of my van so that I can take a bite after every Holiday errand.
Unfortunately, energy levels—and mood swings—are unpredictable. We oftentimes greet the day with the best intentions only to find ourselves surprised at how quickly a traffic snarl or an impatient clerk can make monsters out of the best and most energetic amongst us.
Part of the secret of preparing for the Holidays is to set a pace with which you can be comfortable for the entire month leading up to Christmas, so that along with meeting deadlines and fulfilling all of the season’s commitments, you find yourself truly enjoying the days. Experiencing joy on Christmas Day healthy and happy—rather than haggard and hapless—should be one of your primary goals. Moving closer to the One who forever changed the world—embracing the message and the miracle of Christmas—is, of course, the reason for the season.
I’m passing along, as promised, some strategies I personally use to prepare for Christmas. I don’t pretend to be smarter or more clever or more creative or more anything. I only hope that some of these tips will help you make more sense or obtain more order to these next few days. If you gleam even one tiny idea, this Newsletter will have met its goal. So here goes:
1) Outline the month. In broad, general terms. Believe me: I’m not that organized, I hate detailed bullets and anything even hinting of “red tape.” (This includes budgets set by my husband, time lines set by my kids and artificially-imposed deadlines set by moi). But getting a general sense of some of the things you hope to accomplish during the Holidays is extremely helpful in getting your act together. Do you want to invite the neighbors over for coffee? Host a luncheon? Babysit a toddler so her mom can go shopping? Take an elderly friend to the mall? Map out your idea of how you’d like—ideally—the month to play out. My own personal goals are to host a girlfriends brunch, to host dinner parties for four to five different families, and to host my daughter’s fourteenth birthday party. Admittedly, it’s taken some finely-tuned organizational skills to pull all of these off while simultaneously staying on track with all of my other Holiday responsibilities. But I’m more than halfway there….
2) Take this broad outline and look at it in context. Do your kids have violin recitals two weeks before Christmas? Are school concerts on your calendar? Do you need to work the pre-school party? Is your daughter coming home from college? Do you need to budget in some travel time? What’s on your calendar that is absolutely mandatory—barring illness or emergencies—and what can be done or enjoyed only if all of your little duckies line up in perfect rows? In our own family, we’ve already attended three violin recitals, three school concerts and look forward to our church’s Christmas Eve candlelight service, where two of our kids will perform violin solos. Holiday entertaining—along with shopping, wrapping and shipping—will fall into place within this context.
3) Pick your entertaining dates well in advance and get the word out expediently. I know I know. It’s considered tacky to issue invitations via email. Miss Manners would wring my neck if she only knew. My day will come when engraved invites to my annual Christmas brunch will seem perfectly normal…but that day is not today! For the sake of expediency—not to mention sheer economy—email invitations are the only way for rocket moms to go. Being sleep-deprived with young ones exhibiting serious signs of the barnacle-syndrome hardly leaves room for endurance runs in creativity. I admit that in not too many years past (two, to be exact) I hand-wrote, hand-addressed and hand-stamped every invitation that left my house. These days, I prefer to spend that time doing other things. You have my official permission to be tacky if you so desire. So go online and either write your invitation in Word, copy and paste it into your browser and send it to the group you’ve created in your email system; or get more official and go to www.evite.com, which will record RSVP’s automatically, send updates, and streamline the whole process for you.
4) Start getting your act together early. I’ve forever been of the mindset that I’d rather give simple presents to many people than give a mere handful of extravagant gifts to a select few. You might feel entirely differently. That’s fine. But to stay in line with my guiding principle, I start shopping for Christmas as soon as Christmas has past. No, I don’t deal with the day-after-Christmas-madness-at-the-malls (been there done that. Yuck). But I do keep my eyes constantly open for gifts throughout the year, I keep my list in my Filofax and refer to it frequently, and I always stay on the lookout for good shopping deals. Out of town and out walking around a few cute gift shops? Keep your friends and family in mind. Hitting a great clearance sale at the mall? Think Christmas gifts. Your favorite shop offering a one-time special? Buy in bulk. Or decide on a theme well in advance and buy things along that theme whenever you see them on sale. It might be wonderful soaps or candles or papers or stationery or perfumes for all the girlfriends on your list; or musical toys or books or games or puzzles for all of the kiddies; and robes or slippers or ties or unusual t’s or books or coffee or gift certificates for the men on your list. Start thinking along theme lines early on in the year, shop for such, and you’ll find that by the time Christmas comes, you’ll be in pretty good shape. You can shop this way and still be creative in your gift-giving. For example, I bought homemade natural olive-oil soaps for a few of my girlfriends this year and chose scents according to personal preferences or lifestyles, giving lemongrass-scented soaps to my gardening girlfriends, pine-scented soaps for those who use fresh trees, etc. The key is always keeping your eyes open and keeping your family and friends ever-present in your mind as you shop. Store purchases in your gift closet or on a few shelves in an obscure place in your house, record what you bought for whom, and feel the enormous satisfaction of greeting Advent with lots of things already checked off on your list.
5) Set your color theme early. You can’t imagine how tickled I was to watch the HGTV Holiday special on The White House Christmas and see that the decorators and florists opted to use a lime-green-and-red color theme throughout the mansion. Wow! Lime-green bows held up every wreath, lime-green bows adorned the ornaments and lime-green tablecloths draped every table. I’ve been using a lime-green-and-red theme for the last few years in an effort to feed my lime-green addiction (OK, obsession…or illness…depending on who you talk to) and it makes me happy to see that I’m not the only one out there who sees Christmas colors with this unusual twist. If you love using the traditional Christmas green and bright red, that’s perfectly wonderful, too. But perhaps you’d rather use hot pink. Or burgundy .Or purple or blue. Splendid. Go for it with gusto. Start purchasing ribbons and wraps and gift tags and gift bags early, so that when you line up all of your supplies, you have a very color-coordinated look. For example, I bought red striped cellophane bags, lime-green tissue paper, lime-green silk ribbon, white gift “tags” and wrapping paper that is all red-lime-green-and-white so that no matter what I’m wrapping, I can reach for a supply and know that it’ll work with whatever else my hand has grabbed off my wrapping counter.
6) Set up a wrapping and shipping schedule to beat the Holiday rush. Even before Thanksgiving, I laid all of the gifts I had purchased throughout the year on my wrapping counter, organizing by theme and by family. I laid out all of my supplies—including tissue paper, ribbons, tags (I buy rings from the office supply store), shipping boxes and bubble-wrapped envelopes—and mapped out an organized production line. As gifts were wrapped, they were immediately placed into my van, so that if I ever passed the P.O. and saw an open parking space, I could make a quick shipping stop. But I blew it this year in that I’m at least a week behind schedule. Dag-gone-it. With Thanksgiving hitting a week late, I am late accordingly. As I generally ship anywhere from thirty to forty gifts out-of-state, I need to make three or four runs to the post office in order to ensure that gifts arrive on time. I try to get this done in late November so that I can: save on shipping charges (by shipping parcel post rather than priority), beat the excruciatingly long lines at the P.O. (no one ships in November), and get the immense satisfaction of crossing this off my list early on in the season. I must have been a slacker mom this year, as I still have one more trip to go, I wound up being forced to ship everything priority, and I’ve endured excruciatingly long lines at the P.O. with this weekend’s record forty-five minute wait hardly being a super-fun way to spend my time. There’s always next year…
7) Determine a “signature gift” and send it every year. Last year, for the first time (and as an experiment of sorts), I shipped and hand-delivered a custom-ordered, custom-made candy-cane fudge from our local candy shop. The reviews on it were so hearty that it’s become my signature gift again this year. I ordered dozens of boxes and it’ll wind up everywhere from Texas to Florida to New York. Easy. Festive. Hassle-free. Already gift-boxed. Perhaps there’s something clever—signature—that you can do: turn digital photos of your artwork into stationery or greeting cards; paint miniature canvases; bake an unusual cookie from your ethnic heritage; make your special cocoa or spiced tea? One of my girlfriends has been making homemade vanilla extract for almost twenty years; it’s her signature gift. She pours it into old-fashioned brown medicine bottles (which she buys wholesale and in bulk) and affixes a festive sticker to the front. I look forward to receiving a bottle every year…..
8) Get your cards out as soon as possible and build in plenty of margin time. Ok. You got me here. I am never organized enough to get this done early (even though I vow to be better each year.) Taking a good pic of four kids, sending them to the printer, and addressing and stamping almost two hundred envelopes is sheer hard work. It always gets done, but it always takes a back seat to other, more pressing responsibilities. I figure, if I can slack on my timeline somewhere, it’ll be here. I always buy my cards on sale the year before (generally picking them up at half-price), buy Christmas stamps before Thanksgiving, and buy my paper at the office supply store in bulk. I still haven’t gotten the whole digital picture thing under control over here at our house even though we’ve been using digital cameras for the past three or four years (it’s that whole business of shifting over from print to online photos that’s still got me confused as how to best organize and execute); surely you’re better at this than I am. My advice: make it a priority if you enjoy the tradition, but give yourself some freedom in getting them out as no one minds receiving them after Christmas.
I pray at Christmas that you embrace the spirit of giving. Not just in your thoughtful gifts to friends and family. But that you practice generosity in your time and in your talents, too. That you sing in a choir if you acknowledge your talent as a songbird; cook a meal for a friend if you grasp the joys of hospitality; take an elderly neighbor to the grocery store if you understand the importance of sacrificial love. That you take dinner to a family in crisis because you realize the physical and emotional tolls of illness or injury. Or lift up someone in need because you’ve witnessed the power of intercessory prayer.
Eugene Peterson, one of my most beloved authors and translator of THE MESSAGE, writes: “Giving is the style of the universe. Giving is woven into the fabric of existence… Giving is what we do best. It is the air into which we were born. It is the action that was designed into us before our birth. Giving is the way the world is. God gives himself. He also gives away everything that is. He makes no exceptions for any of us. We are given away to our families, to our neighbors, to our friends, to our enemies—to the nations. Our life is for others. That is the way creation works.” (*)
May you be filled with all blessings on Christmas Day—and everyday—by fully embracing the spirit of giving.
Merry, merry Christmas!
Carolina
*NOTE: Eugene Peterson, Run with the Horses (Downers Grove: InterVarsity Press, 1983), p. 42, 43.
“Giving is the style of the universe. Giving is woven into the fabric of existence… Giving is what we do best”. Eugene Peterson
Every year—at about this time—I start writching around to crank things up a notch. To pull out all the stops. To get the house fully decorated for Christmas, get friends and family fully fed with a meal or two, and get special Christmas treats baked, ordered or picked up for festive holiday entertaining. I confess to anticipating the arrival of Christmas every year with a spirit open to its marvelous story. But I engage midway through Advent with a palpable anxiety about getting everything “done.”
Sometimes the pace of the four weeks leading up to Christmas wears me out, and I almost collapse at the mere thought of getting preparations done with even the tiniest bit of flair. And other times, I get a sudden burst of energy and am able to stand in long lines at the post office, the grocery store, my favorite shops or my wrapping counter without breaking a sweat or reaching for a dark chocolate bar. Sometimes, I can go for hours on end without nibbling on a single thing nor feeling the teensiest hunger pang; other times, I feel like I need to have an elephant in the passenger seat of my van so that I can take a bite after every Holiday errand.
Unfortunately, energy levels—and mood swings—are unpredictable. We oftentimes greet the day with the best intentions only to find ourselves surprised at how quickly a traffic snarl or an impatient clerk can make monsters out of the best and most energetic amongst us.
Part of the secret of preparing for the Holidays is to set a pace with which you can be comfortable for the entire month leading up to Christmas, so that along with meeting deadlines and fulfilling all of the season’s commitments, you find yourself truly enjoying the days. Experiencing joy on Christmas Day healthy and happy—rather than haggard and hapless—should be one of your primary goals. Moving closer to the One who forever changed the world—embracing the message and the miracle of Christmas—is, of course, the reason for the season.
I’m passing along, as promised, some strategies I personally use to prepare for Christmas. I don’t pretend to be smarter or more clever or more creative or more anything. I only hope that some of these tips will help you make more sense or obtain more order to these next few days. If you gleam even one tiny idea, this Newsletter will have met its goal. So here goes:
1) Outline the month. In broad, general terms. Believe me: I’m not that organized, I hate detailed bullets and anything even hinting of “red tape.” (This includes budgets set by my husband, time lines set by my kids and artificially-imposed deadlines set by moi). But getting a general sense of some of the things you hope to accomplish during the Holidays is extremely helpful in getting your act together. Do you want to invite the neighbors over for coffee? Host a luncheon? Babysit a toddler so her mom can go shopping? Take an elderly friend to the mall? Map out your idea of how you’d like—ideally—the month to play out. My own personal goals are to host a girlfriends brunch, to host dinner parties for four to five different families, and to host my daughter’s fourteenth birthday party. Admittedly, it’s taken some finely-tuned organizational skills to pull all of these off while simultaneously staying on track with all of my other Holiday responsibilities. But I’m more than halfway there….
2) Take this broad outline and look at it in context. Do your kids have violin recitals two weeks before Christmas? Are school concerts on your calendar? Do you need to work the pre-school party? Is your daughter coming home from college? Do you need to budget in some travel time? What’s on your calendar that is absolutely mandatory—barring illness or emergencies—and what can be done or enjoyed only if all of your little duckies line up in perfect rows? In our own family, we’ve already attended three violin recitals, three school concerts and look forward to our church’s Christmas Eve candlelight service, where two of our kids will perform violin solos. Holiday entertaining—along with shopping, wrapping and shipping—will fall into place within this context.
3) Pick your entertaining dates well in advance and get the word out expediently. I know I know. It’s considered tacky to issue invitations via email. Miss Manners would wring my neck if she only knew. My day will come when engraved invites to my annual Christmas brunch will seem perfectly normal…but that day is not today! For the sake of expediency—not to mention sheer economy—email invitations are the only way for rocket moms to go. Being sleep-deprived with young ones exhibiting serious signs of the barnacle-syndrome hardly leaves room for endurance runs in creativity. I admit that in not too many years past (two, to be exact) I hand-wrote, hand-addressed and hand-stamped every invitation that left my house. These days, I prefer to spend that time doing other things. You have my official permission to be tacky if you so desire. So go online and either write your invitation in Word, copy and paste it into your browser and send it to the group you’ve created in your email system; or get more official and go to www.evite.com, which will record RSVP’s automatically, send updates, and streamline the whole process for you.
4) Start getting your act together early. I’ve forever been of the mindset that I’d rather give simple presents to many people than give a mere handful of extravagant gifts to a select few. You might feel entirely differently. That’s fine. But to stay in line with my guiding principle, I start shopping for Christmas as soon as Christmas has past. No, I don’t deal with the day-after-Christmas-madness-at-the-malls (been there done that. Yuck). But I do keep my eyes constantly open for gifts throughout the year, I keep my list in my Filofax and refer to it frequently, and I always stay on the lookout for good shopping deals. Out of town and out walking around a few cute gift shops? Keep your friends and family in mind. Hitting a great clearance sale at the mall? Think Christmas gifts. Your favorite shop offering a one-time special? Buy in bulk. Or decide on a theme well in advance and buy things along that theme whenever you see them on sale. It might be wonderful soaps or candles or papers or stationery or perfumes for all the girlfriends on your list; or musical toys or books or games or puzzles for all of the kiddies; and robes or slippers or ties or unusual t’s or books or coffee or gift certificates for the men on your list. Start thinking along theme lines early on in the year, shop for such, and you’ll find that by the time Christmas comes, you’ll be in pretty good shape. You can shop this way and still be creative in your gift-giving. For example, I bought homemade natural olive-oil soaps for a few of my girlfriends this year and chose scents according to personal preferences or lifestyles, giving lemongrass-scented soaps to my gardening girlfriends, pine-scented soaps for those who use fresh trees, etc. The key is always keeping your eyes open and keeping your family and friends ever-present in your mind as you shop. Store purchases in your gift closet or on a few shelves in an obscure place in your house, record what you bought for whom, and feel the enormous satisfaction of greeting Advent with lots of things already checked off on your list.
5) Set your color theme early. You can’t imagine how tickled I was to watch the HGTV Holiday special on The White House Christmas and see that the decorators and florists opted to use a lime-green-and-red color theme throughout the mansion. Wow! Lime-green bows held up every wreath, lime-green bows adorned the ornaments and lime-green tablecloths draped every table. I’ve been using a lime-green-and-red theme for the last few years in an effort to feed my lime-green addiction (OK, obsession…or illness…depending on who you talk to) and it makes me happy to see that I’m not the only one out there who sees Christmas colors with this unusual twist. If you love using the traditional Christmas green and bright red, that’s perfectly wonderful, too. But perhaps you’d rather use hot pink. Or burgundy .Or purple or blue. Splendid. Go for it with gusto. Start purchasing ribbons and wraps and gift tags and gift bags early, so that when you line up all of your supplies, you have a very color-coordinated look. For example, I bought red striped cellophane bags, lime-green tissue paper, lime-green silk ribbon, white gift “tags” and wrapping paper that is all red-lime-green-and-white so that no matter what I’m wrapping, I can reach for a supply and know that it’ll work with whatever else my hand has grabbed off my wrapping counter.
6) Set up a wrapping and shipping schedule to beat the Holiday rush. Even before Thanksgiving, I laid all of the gifts I had purchased throughout the year on my wrapping counter, organizing by theme and by family. I laid out all of my supplies—including tissue paper, ribbons, tags (I buy rings from the office supply store), shipping boxes and bubble-wrapped envelopes—and mapped out an organized production line. As gifts were wrapped, they were immediately placed into my van, so that if I ever passed the P.O. and saw an open parking space, I could make a quick shipping stop. But I blew it this year in that I’m at least a week behind schedule. Dag-gone-it. With Thanksgiving hitting a week late, I am late accordingly. As I generally ship anywhere from thirty to forty gifts out-of-state, I need to make three or four runs to the post office in order to ensure that gifts arrive on time. I try to get this done in late November so that I can: save on shipping charges (by shipping parcel post rather than priority), beat the excruciatingly long lines at the P.O. (no one ships in November), and get the immense satisfaction of crossing this off my list early on in the season. I must have been a slacker mom this year, as I still have one more trip to go, I wound up being forced to ship everything priority, and I’ve endured excruciatingly long lines at the P.O. with this weekend’s record forty-five minute wait hardly being a super-fun way to spend my time. There’s always next year…
7) Determine a “signature gift” and send it every year. Last year, for the first time (and as an experiment of sorts), I shipped and hand-delivered a custom-ordered, custom-made candy-cane fudge from our local candy shop. The reviews on it were so hearty that it’s become my signature gift again this year. I ordered dozens of boxes and it’ll wind up everywhere from Texas to Florida to New York. Easy. Festive. Hassle-free. Already gift-boxed. Perhaps there’s something clever—signature—that you can do: turn digital photos of your artwork into stationery or greeting cards; paint miniature canvases; bake an unusual cookie from your ethnic heritage; make your special cocoa or spiced tea? One of my girlfriends has been making homemade vanilla extract for almost twenty years; it’s her signature gift. She pours it into old-fashioned brown medicine bottles (which she buys wholesale and in bulk) and affixes a festive sticker to the front. I look forward to receiving a bottle every year…..
8) Get your cards out as soon as possible and build in plenty of margin time. Ok. You got me here. I am never organized enough to get this done early (even though I vow to be better each year.) Taking a good pic of four kids, sending them to the printer, and addressing and stamping almost two hundred envelopes is sheer hard work. It always gets done, but it always takes a back seat to other, more pressing responsibilities. I figure, if I can slack on my timeline somewhere, it’ll be here. I always buy my cards on sale the year before (generally picking them up at half-price), buy Christmas stamps before Thanksgiving, and buy my paper at the office supply store in bulk. I still haven’t gotten the whole digital picture thing under control over here at our house even though we’ve been using digital cameras for the past three or four years (it’s that whole business of shifting over from print to online photos that’s still got me confused as how to best organize and execute); surely you’re better at this than I am. My advice: make it a priority if you enjoy the tradition, but give yourself some freedom in getting them out as no one minds receiving them after Christmas.
I pray at Christmas that you embrace the spirit of giving. Not just in your thoughtful gifts to friends and family. But that you practice generosity in your time and in your talents, too. That you sing in a choir if you acknowledge your talent as a songbird; cook a meal for a friend if you grasp the joys of hospitality; take an elderly neighbor to the grocery store if you understand the importance of sacrificial love. That you take dinner to a family in crisis because you realize the physical and emotional tolls of illness or injury. Or lift up someone in need because you’ve witnessed the power of intercessory prayer.
Eugene Peterson, one of my most beloved authors and translator of THE MESSAGE, writes: “Giving is the style of the universe. Giving is woven into the fabric of existence… Giving is what we do best. It is the air into which we were born. It is the action that was designed into us before our birth. Giving is the way the world is. God gives himself. He also gives away everything that is. He makes no exceptions for any of us. We are given away to our families, to our neighbors, to our friends, to our enemies—to the nations. Our life is for others. That is the way creation works.” (*)
May you be filled with all blessings on Christmas Day—and everyday—by fully embracing the spirit of giving.
Merry, merry Christmas!
Carolina
*NOTE: Eugene Peterson, Run with the Horses (Downers Grove: InterVarsity Press, 1983), p. 42, 43.
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
Rocket Mom Shops New York City
It was over-the-top, being treated to four days in New York City at Christmastime by the generosity of a Fortune 100 company. Its beauty was breath-taking, with a heavy snow preceding our trip blanketing Central Park; and lights, garlands and trees accenting everything from doorways to ceilings (Saks’ twinkling white lights strung along its ceilings and through tree limbs arching over every aisle is nothing short of glorious) to rooftops; and the temperatures, while nippy, were hardly bone-chilling. From Rockefeller Center to Times Square to The Met to The Park: New York was magical.
My promise to bring to you New York City bargains was ever-present in my mind as I pounded the pavements throughout mid-town Manhattan and much of the lower West Side. Due to the nature of our trip, I confess to spending much more time on Madison and Fifth Avenues than I did in Chelsea, Greenwich Village, SoHo and Chinatown, where bargains abound and where shops carry everything from the edgy to the kitschy to the fake to the cheap. So I’m going to share a little of both worlds with you. I also observed that in our corporate—and global—group, travelers from different parts of the world very much wanted to buy very different stuff. While this will seem overly-simplified and perhaps a bit stereotypical, the Western and Eastern Europeans desired American clothing (especially blue jeans), Clinique make-up, iPods and digital cameras, while folks from the Asia-Pacific rim shopped for expensive (Italian and French) handbags. Almost everyone was in search of some type of electronic device, with iPods and digital cameras being in the highest demand. The non-New Yorker Americans shopped for the run-of-the-mill, A-to-Z type bargain, looking for anything and everything that was either less expensive or more available than it is back home. As this Newsletter spins ‘round the globe, I’ll try to give everyone something to check out. Here goes:
• If you travel to New York City during the Holidays, be prepared to pay dearly—or in blood—for a hotel room. They are simply not to be had; ones that have availability are in extremely high demand with prices out the roof. Our room at The Essex House overlooked Central Park and was absolutely glorious, but my pockets wouldn’t be deep enough if I had to pay for it with my own MasterCard this time of year. One of NYC’s best-kept secrets is the Riverside Tower Hotel at 80 Riverside Drive (corner of Riverside Drive and West 80th Street; phone 212-877-5200.) Check them out first before calling hotels at more popular locations.
• Dining in NYC is a sport. Be prepared to play with the professionals. We enjoyed dinner at Michael Jordan’s in Grand Central Terminal, lunch at the 21 Club and a dinner party in the Rainbow Room at Rockefeller Center, among many other special dining treats. (I can hardly mention our private dinner party atop the ABC Studios in Times Square as it was one of the most incredible views…as well as one of the most incredible experiences I’ve ever had and one which I’m sure I’ll never have again). When my feet landed on NYC soil and I had to pay for things with my own nickel, I enjoyed a pressed sandwich at Europa Café. Also check out Cosi for cheap eats in the Big Apple. You would do just fine for a long weekend eating at either one of these places for breakfast, lunch and dinner…and they’re scattered throughout the city.
• Want something somewhere between Michael Jordan’s and Cosi? Try Cafe Saks Fifth Avenue (611 5th Avenue); Bloomingdale's Le Train Bleu (1000 3rd Avenue); Bergdorf Goodman - Goodman's Cafe for Women (2 West 58th Street); Bergdorf Goodman - Goodman's Cafe 745 for Men (745 5th Avenue) or Fred's at Barneys (660 Madison Avenue). I also have always had good luck at little bakeries strung along the Upper East Side on Madison. There’s nothing wrong with coffee and a bran muffin for lunch after all. Or hot roasted chestnuts from the street vendors. Yum!
• Allen Edmonds (551 Madison Ave. around 55th St.; phone 212-308-8305) is having a sale on men’s shoes right now. Men I spoke with found this to be irresistible. As most of their shoes are in the $200-300 price range, it’s nice to think that one might save a little by buying now, if treads are wearing thin. And one of the best reasons for buying their stuff: you can send your shoes back to Allen Edmonds for re-soling….at least once before buying again.
• Loehmann's (101 7th Avenue between 16th and 17th Streets; phone 212-352-0856) remains one of my longest-running favorites and is, by all counts, the grand dame of discount stores. I bought a fabulous pair of beaded flats by Kenneth Cole for less than $30. With black and red beads on a black satin background, they’re perfect for Holiday parties (with longish black-sequined peasant skirts and glittery tops). Loehmann’s stuff changes daily, so it’s hit or miss. Keep checking. And get into “shopping mode” before you head over there; lines will be long, the building is on the hot-ish side and you may have to spend an inordinate amount of time searching for something wonderful in your size. But it’s worth it.
• Century 21(22 Cortlandt Street-- Between Church and Broadway in Chinatown; phone 212-227-9092; www.c21stores.com) has been billed by native New Yorkers as the best discount place in the city and Zagat has given it top billing as well. Our guide dropped us off there for an hour’s worth of shopping and I walked out with nothing. Nadda. Zero. Truthfully, it didn’t grab me. Too much stuff. Poorly displayed. Not enough variety to make me want to pull out my wallet. But the Europeans on-board were thrilled. Great boots and shoes, apparently. And lots of Ralph Lauren fashion jewelry at ridiculously low prices. Handbags, too. Also spotted: trendoid Oliver Peoples sunglasses at rock-bottom prices. And if you’re shopping for Clinique cosmetics, you can find it here at really decent prices.
• Almost next door, check out J&R for great deals on electronics of all types (Park Row across from City Hall Park; phone 212-238-9000; Fax 212-238-9191; www.jr.com). Travelers on my tour found iPods, digital cameras and video cameras there that made their hearts sing.
• DSW is theeeee place for designer women’s shoes. (102 N. End Ave in Chinatown; phone 212-945-7419) Very hit or miss. The stuff—because it is so wonderful—moves out extremely quickly. I once eyed a pair of Lilly Pulitzer’s at a DSW store in Miami, hesitated, went back the next day and found that the entire stock of Lilly’s was gone. If you gotta have it, get it as soon as you find out it fits.
• While you’re in the lower west side, check out the deals on Canal Street. Cheap. Fake. Fun…if you must. Everything from fake designer handbags to cheap jewelry to hats and scarves to t-shirts.
• If you gotta have a drop-dead gorgeous Italian leather handbag for Christmas, call the good folks at Suarez on Park Avenue at around 56th St. (450 Park Ave; phone 212-753-3758). A family-owned business for something like three generations, their staff is courteous and their stuff is super-pretty. Their bags come in fourteen colors, including an absolutely incredible Tiffany-blue. But your pockets better be deep: prices start at $300 and rocket on up from there. They’re having somewhat of a sale, with their $550-on-up bags currently at 20% off.
• After sleeping on a Suarez purchase by my husband (for my Christmas gift) not one, not two, but three nights…I decided that with four kids to put through college (and two sofas to reupholster and yada yada yada) that an expensive handbag was a little bit too over-the-top right now. Ernie and I opted instead to buy a gorgeous Italian handbag, the “Kelly Bag” (think Grace Kelly) at a wonderful handbag store that is losing its building and combining two stores into one and therefore discounting all of its merchandise by 80%. Yes. As in 80% OFF. Their gorgeous $650 bags have been discounted to about $130. At that price, you can perhaps think about buying one in a color you wouldn’t normally entertain…and if you accidentally ruin one, you won’t be crying all the way back to the city to get a replacement. And you might even be able to justify buying two. Call Michel’s Bags (510 Madison Avenue between 52nd and 53rd Sts; phone 212 355-8309). Ask for Kathy and tell her the-gal-from-Connecticut-who-couldn’t-decide-which-bag-to- buy-but-who-finally-bought-the-Kelly-bag-on-Monday sent you. She’s lovely. And hurry up! The sale ends December 31 and they’re quickly running out of stock.
• Pearl River Mart (477 Broadway, between Grand and Broome Sts.; phone 212-431-4770; www.pearlriver.com) has not only cheap stuff with which to decorate—china bowls, tea services and placemats—but fun little no-nothings for stocking stuffers. I found—though did not buy—the cutest paper lanterns on the planet, and if I needed yet one more thing to put into my daughter’s bedroom, they would quite probably be it. I did, however, make my only afternoon purchase, because I hadn’t seen them elsewhere: pretty glycerine soaps for children with embedded “cute-isms” like “smile,” “joy,” “laugh,” “love,” etc. I bought a half-dozen to give to a family with four young daughters, along with silk draw-string bags in orange-with-white-polka-dots for festive packaging. All for something like $18.
• Kate’s Paperie (phone 800-809-9880; www.katespaperie.com) is still the best shop in NYC for stationery and super-pretty papers. Hands down. No contest. With four locations on NYC (its SoHo shop at 561 Broadway is incredible) it is a must-see if you are a paper lover or simply need some eye candy. Call to order, but if you’re in the city, do not miss the Kate’s Paperie experience.
• Dean & Deluca in SoHo (560 Broadway; phone 212-226-6800 or toll-free 800-221-7714; www.deandeluca.com) is the place to find all food-related things that you cannot find elsewhere. Glorious olive oil “brick” soaps, pots and pans, and gourmet candies are amongst my favorites there. See if they can special order you some chocolate-covered gummy bears. The best.
• Baking a lot for Christmas? Need cookie cutters? Baking pans? Icing tips? Try New York Cake at 56 West 22nd Street between 5th and 6th Avenue. Incredible selection. Phone or FAX orders: 800-942-2539; FAX 212-675-7099.
• Lee's Art Shop (220 W. 57th Street, between 7th Avenue and Broadway; phone 212-247-0110) has fantastic kids’ art supplies, stuff for adult artists, creative stocking stuffers and the best art tools in the city. If your area lacks a great art supply store, this is it.
• Museum gift shops cannot be ruled out as amongst the best outlets for creative gift ideas. I had a wonderful time—after a two-hour guided tour of The Metropolitan Museum of Art —in their large gift shop (1000 Fifth Avenue at 82nd St; phone 212-570-3894), which is a destination in and of itself. If you can’t find that art book you’ve been looking for, give them a call. Beautiful silk scarves and ties. Jewelry, too.
• Also check out The Museum of American Folk Art Shop for wonderful gifts, most made by American artisans: 45 W 53rd St between 5th and 6th; phone 212-265-1040.
• The Holiday Gift Shops at St. Bartholomew's have some unusual gifts that you won’t find elsewhere, but you’ve got to be in the city to access them. If you’re in the city, check them out at Park Avenue between 50th and 51st Streets.
• If you do get into the city, do not—and I repeat, do not—rule out the fabulous pashmina and cashmere shawls that you can pick up from the street vendors for $5 or $10. OK. I haven’t exactly checked out the fiber content with a magnifying glass, but hey, for ten bucks, how can you go too wrong? I pick one up each trip into the city and have found some real beauties. The color range is quite wonderful. Yum. The latest have a gorgeous jacquard weave and I find one wrapped around my neck at every venture out of doors. Particularly good locations? Try just west of Fifth Avenue around 50th or 51st Streets.
• Gotta hit the large department stores? OK. So do I, but not for bargains. They remain, I admit, a feast for the eyes and a veritable New York experience. You’ve got to get the salespeople spritzing you with the latest perfumes and schmearing you with the latest anti-wrinkle creams upon arrival. No one does this better than the good folks at Saks Fifth Avenue (50th St. and Fifth Avenue) Very elegant. Very expensive. Really, no bargains to be found except after Christmas, when discounts of 50% will be commonplace. I love their contemporary sportswear and their private label. Beautiful night show of dancing snowflakes in the windows timed to Christmas music. Magical. Bloomingdale’s (Third Avenue and 59th Street or in SoHo at 504 Broadway; phone 212-729-5900) is trendy, bustling and exciting. Their tagline it's like "no other store in the world" is true. They carry some pretty cool stuff that you just won’t find anywhere else. Watch for deep discounts…but not until after Christmas. Some bargains can actually be found at Lord & Taylor (38th St. and Fifth Avenue) as they are continually bringing in new merchandise. Granted: most of the NYC stores are doing the same, but Lord & Taylor does this consistently and does it well. One of my favorites. Bergdorf Goodman (754 Fifth Avenue at 57th St.; the men's store is located across the street. Phone: 800-558-1855) is not a store that you necessarily shop in, and is certainly not a place in which to behold a bargain. It is simply a place to train your eye. To look at beauty (and the beautiful). Their windows are the best-dressed and the same could be said for their (real) customers. Lines of gawkers outside their blue-and-white china window were five deep. I could hardly take my eyes off it. If you make the trip in to the city, you must make a quick stop here. ‘Nough said.
• Crate&Barrel (650 Madison Avenue at 60th Street; phone 212-308-0011) is beautifully decorated for Christmas and contains enough low-priced stuff that it’s certainly worth a visit. If you’re looking for a small kitchen appliance, especially, it beats the prices at Williams-Sonoma. This should be part of your Madison Avenue experience; a phone call is also worth it if you know what you’re looking for.
• For stuff for the home, I have two favorites: ABC Carpet and Home (888 Broadway at 19th St; phone 212 473-3000) is filled to the brim with treasures—and rugs—from around the world. Not to be missed, you’ll find things in all price ranges, including arguably the best baby department in the city. Pierre Deux (625 Madison Ave at around 56th St; phone 212-521-8012) is not only for the Francophiles amongst us; it is a jewel box in the heart of Madison Avenue. Roosters lurk in every corner; gorgeous French fabrics fill every square inch; expensive furniture lines the downstairs footage; and reproduction paintings and lamps and shades and china take center stage through this large retail space. Ahhh….A little retreat into wonderful.
That oughta do it. Stay tuned: next week, I’ll share with you how I shop for the dozens of family and friends on my list, as well as the menu and recipes from my annual Christmas Brunch.
Happy shopping!
Carolina
My promise to bring to you New York City bargains was ever-present in my mind as I pounded the pavements throughout mid-town Manhattan and much of the lower West Side. Due to the nature of our trip, I confess to spending much more time on Madison and Fifth Avenues than I did in Chelsea, Greenwich Village, SoHo and Chinatown, where bargains abound and where shops carry everything from the edgy to the kitschy to the fake to the cheap. So I’m going to share a little of both worlds with you. I also observed that in our corporate—and global—group, travelers from different parts of the world very much wanted to buy very different stuff. While this will seem overly-simplified and perhaps a bit stereotypical, the Western and Eastern Europeans desired American clothing (especially blue jeans), Clinique make-up, iPods and digital cameras, while folks from the Asia-Pacific rim shopped for expensive (Italian and French) handbags. Almost everyone was in search of some type of electronic device, with iPods and digital cameras being in the highest demand. The non-New Yorker Americans shopped for the run-of-the-mill, A-to-Z type bargain, looking for anything and everything that was either less expensive or more available than it is back home. As this Newsletter spins ‘round the globe, I’ll try to give everyone something to check out. Here goes:
• If you travel to New York City during the Holidays, be prepared to pay dearly—or in blood—for a hotel room. They are simply not to be had; ones that have availability are in extremely high demand with prices out the roof. Our room at The Essex House overlooked Central Park and was absolutely glorious, but my pockets wouldn’t be deep enough if I had to pay for it with my own MasterCard this time of year. One of NYC’s best-kept secrets is the Riverside Tower Hotel at 80 Riverside Drive (corner of Riverside Drive and West 80th Street; phone 212-877-5200.) Check them out first before calling hotels at more popular locations.
• Dining in NYC is a sport. Be prepared to play with the professionals. We enjoyed dinner at Michael Jordan’s in Grand Central Terminal, lunch at the 21 Club and a dinner party in the Rainbow Room at Rockefeller Center, among many other special dining treats. (I can hardly mention our private dinner party atop the ABC Studios in Times Square as it was one of the most incredible views…as well as one of the most incredible experiences I’ve ever had and one which I’m sure I’ll never have again). When my feet landed on NYC soil and I had to pay for things with my own nickel, I enjoyed a pressed sandwich at Europa Café. Also check out Cosi for cheap eats in the Big Apple. You would do just fine for a long weekend eating at either one of these places for breakfast, lunch and dinner…and they’re scattered throughout the city.
• Want something somewhere between Michael Jordan’s and Cosi? Try Cafe Saks Fifth Avenue (611 5th Avenue); Bloomingdale's Le Train Bleu (1000 3rd Avenue); Bergdorf Goodman - Goodman's Cafe for Women (2 West 58th Street); Bergdorf Goodman - Goodman's Cafe 745 for Men (745 5th Avenue) or Fred's at Barneys (660 Madison Avenue). I also have always had good luck at little bakeries strung along the Upper East Side on Madison. There’s nothing wrong with coffee and a bran muffin for lunch after all. Or hot roasted chestnuts from the street vendors. Yum!
• Allen Edmonds (551 Madison Ave. around 55th St.; phone 212-308-8305) is having a sale on men’s shoes right now. Men I spoke with found this to be irresistible. As most of their shoes are in the $200-300 price range, it’s nice to think that one might save a little by buying now, if treads are wearing thin. And one of the best reasons for buying their stuff: you can send your shoes back to Allen Edmonds for re-soling….at least once before buying again.
• Loehmann's (101 7th Avenue between 16th and 17th Streets; phone 212-352-0856) remains one of my longest-running favorites and is, by all counts, the grand dame of discount stores. I bought a fabulous pair of beaded flats by Kenneth Cole for less than $30. With black and red beads on a black satin background, they’re perfect for Holiday parties (with longish black-sequined peasant skirts and glittery tops). Loehmann’s stuff changes daily, so it’s hit or miss. Keep checking. And get into “shopping mode” before you head over there; lines will be long, the building is on the hot-ish side and you may have to spend an inordinate amount of time searching for something wonderful in your size. But it’s worth it.
• Century 21(22 Cortlandt Street-- Between Church and Broadway in Chinatown; phone 212-227-9092; www.c21stores.com) has been billed by native New Yorkers as the best discount place in the city and Zagat has given it top billing as well. Our guide dropped us off there for an hour’s worth of shopping and I walked out with nothing. Nadda. Zero. Truthfully, it didn’t grab me. Too much stuff. Poorly displayed. Not enough variety to make me want to pull out my wallet. But the Europeans on-board were thrilled. Great boots and shoes, apparently. And lots of Ralph Lauren fashion jewelry at ridiculously low prices. Handbags, too. Also spotted: trendoid Oliver Peoples sunglasses at rock-bottom prices. And if you’re shopping for Clinique cosmetics, you can find it here at really decent prices.
• Almost next door, check out J&R for great deals on electronics of all types (Park Row across from City Hall Park; phone 212-238-9000; Fax 212-238-9191; www.jr.com). Travelers on my tour found iPods, digital cameras and video cameras there that made their hearts sing.
• DSW is theeeee place for designer women’s shoes. (102 N. End Ave in Chinatown; phone 212-945-7419) Very hit or miss. The stuff—because it is so wonderful—moves out extremely quickly. I once eyed a pair of Lilly Pulitzer’s at a DSW store in Miami, hesitated, went back the next day and found that the entire stock of Lilly’s was gone. If you gotta have it, get it as soon as you find out it fits.
• While you’re in the lower west side, check out the deals on Canal Street. Cheap. Fake. Fun…if you must. Everything from fake designer handbags to cheap jewelry to hats and scarves to t-shirts.
• If you gotta have a drop-dead gorgeous Italian leather handbag for Christmas, call the good folks at Suarez on Park Avenue at around 56th St. (450 Park Ave; phone 212-753-3758). A family-owned business for something like three generations, their staff is courteous and their stuff is super-pretty. Their bags come in fourteen colors, including an absolutely incredible Tiffany-blue. But your pockets better be deep: prices start at $300 and rocket on up from there. They’re having somewhat of a sale, with their $550-on-up bags currently at 20% off.
• After sleeping on a Suarez purchase by my husband (for my Christmas gift) not one, not two, but three nights…I decided that with four kids to put through college (and two sofas to reupholster and yada yada yada) that an expensive handbag was a little bit too over-the-top right now. Ernie and I opted instead to buy a gorgeous Italian handbag, the “Kelly Bag” (think Grace Kelly) at a wonderful handbag store that is losing its building and combining two stores into one and therefore discounting all of its merchandise by 80%. Yes. As in 80% OFF. Their gorgeous $650 bags have been discounted to about $130. At that price, you can perhaps think about buying one in a color you wouldn’t normally entertain…and if you accidentally ruin one, you won’t be crying all the way back to the city to get a replacement. And you might even be able to justify buying two. Call Michel’s Bags (510 Madison Avenue between 52nd and 53rd Sts; phone 212 355-8309). Ask for Kathy and tell her the-gal-from-Connecticut-who-couldn’t-decide-which-bag-to- buy-but-who-finally-bought-the-Kelly-bag-on-Monday sent you. She’s lovely. And hurry up! The sale ends December 31 and they’re quickly running out of stock.
• Pearl River Mart (477 Broadway, between Grand and Broome Sts.; phone 212-431-4770; www.pearlriver.com) has not only cheap stuff with which to decorate—china bowls, tea services and placemats—but fun little no-nothings for stocking stuffers. I found—though did not buy—the cutest paper lanterns on the planet, and if I needed yet one more thing to put into my daughter’s bedroom, they would quite probably be it. I did, however, make my only afternoon purchase, because I hadn’t seen them elsewhere: pretty glycerine soaps for children with embedded “cute-isms” like “smile,” “joy,” “laugh,” “love,” etc. I bought a half-dozen to give to a family with four young daughters, along with silk draw-string bags in orange-with-white-polka-dots for festive packaging. All for something like $18.
• Kate’s Paperie (phone 800-809-9880; www.katespaperie.com) is still the best shop in NYC for stationery and super-pretty papers. Hands down. No contest. With four locations on NYC (its SoHo shop at 561 Broadway is incredible) it is a must-see if you are a paper lover or simply need some eye candy. Call to order, but if you’re in the city, do not miss the Kate’s Paperie experience.
• Dean & Deluca in SoHo (560 Broadway; phone 212-226-6800 or toll-free 800-221-7714; www.deandeluca.com) is the place to find all food-related things that you cannot find elsewhere. Glorious olive oil “brick” soaps, pots and pans, and gourmet candies are amongst my favorites there. See if they can special order you some chocolate-covered gummy bears. The best.
• Baking a lot for Christmas? Need cookie cutters? Baking pans? Icing tips? Try New York Cake at 56 West 22nd Street between 5th and 6th Avenue. Incredible selection. Phone or FAX orders: 800-942-2539; FAX 212-675-7099.
• Lee's Art Shop (220 W. 57th Street, between 7th Avenue and Broadway; phone 212-247-0110) has fantastic kids’ art supplies, stuff for adult artists, creative stocking stuffers and the best art tools in the city. If your area lacks a great art supply store, this is it.
• Museum gift shops cannot be ruled out as amongst the best outlets for creative gift ideas. I had a wonderful time—after a two-hour guided tour of The Metropolitan Museum of Art —in their large gift shop (1000 Fifth Avenue at 82nd St; phone 212-570-3894), which is a destination in and of itself. If you can’t find that art book you’ve been looking for, give them a call. Beautiful silk scarves and ties. Jewelry, too.
• Also check out The Museum of American Folk Art Shop for wonderful gifts, most made by American artisans: 45 W 53rd St between 5th and 6th; phone 212-265-1040.
• The Holiday Gift Shops at St. Bartholomew's have some unusual gifts that you won’t find elsewhere, but you’ve got to be in the city to access them. If you’re in the city, check them out at Park Avenue between 50th and 51st Streets.
• If you do get into the city, do not—and I repeat, do not—rule out the fabulous pashmina and cashmere shawls that you can pick up from the street vendors for $5 or $10. OK. I haven’t exactly checked out the fiber content with a magnifying glass, but hey, for ten bucks, how can you go too wrong? I pick one up each trip into the city and have found some real beauties. The color range is quite wonderful. Yum. The latest have a gorgeous jacquard weave and I find one wrapped around my neck at every venture out of doors. Particularly good locations? Try just west of Fifth Avenue around 50th or 51st Streets.
• Gotta hit the large department stores? OK. So do I, but not for bargains. They remain, I admit, a feast for the eyes and a veritable New York experience. You’ve got to get the salespeople spritzing you with the latest perfumes and schmearing you with the latest anti-wrinkle creams upon arrival. No one does this better than the good folks at Saks Fifth Avenue (50th St. and Fifth Avenue) Very elegant. Very expensive. Really, no bargains to be found except after Christmas, when discounts of 50% will be commonplace. I love their contemporary sportswear and their private label. Beautiful night show of dancing snowflakes in the windows timed to Christmas music. Magical. Bloomingdale’s (Third Avenue and 59th Street or in SoHo at 504 Broadway; phone 212-729-5900) is trendy, bustling and exciting. Their tagline it's like "no other store in the world" is true. They carry some pretty cool stuff that you just won’t find anywhere else. Watch for deep discounts…but not until after Christmas. Some bargains can actually be found at Lord & Taylor (38th St. and Fifth Avenue) as they are continually bringing in new merchandise. Granted: most of the NYC stores are doing the same, but Lord & Taylor does this consistently and does it well. One of my favorites. Bergdorf Goodman (754 Fifth Avenue at 57th St.; the men's store is located across the street. Phone: 800-558-1855) is not a store that you necessarily shop in, and is certainly not a place in which to behold a bargain. It is simply a place to train your eye. To look at beauty (and the beautiful). Their windows are the best-dressed and the same could be said for their (real) customers. Lines of gawkers outside their blue-and-white china window were five deep. I could hardly take my eyes off it. If you make the trip in to the city, you must make a quick stop here. ‘Nough said.
• Crate&Barrel (650 Madison Avenue at 60th Street; phone 212-308-0011) is beautifully decorated for Christmas and contains enough low-priced stuff that it’s certainly worth a visit. If you’re looking for a small kitchen appliance, especially, it beats the prices at Williams-Sonoma. This should be part of your Madison Avenue experience; a phone call is also worth it if you know what you’re looking for.
• For stuff for the home, I have two favorites: ABC Carpet and Home (888 Broadway at 19th St; phone 212 473-3000) is filled to the brim with treasures—and rugs—from around the world. Not to be missed, you’ll find things in all price ranges, including arguably the best baby department in the city. Pierre Deux (625 Madison Ave at around 56th St; phone 212-521-8012) is not only for the Francophiles amongst us; it is a jewel box in the heart of Madison Avenue. Roosters lurk in every corner; gorgeous French fabrics fill every square inch; expensive furniture lines the downstairs footage; and reproduction paintings and lamps and shades and china take center stage through this large retail space. Ahhh….A little retreat into wonderful.
That oughta do it. Stay tuned: next week, I’ll share with you how I shop for the dozens of family and friends on my list, as well as the menu and recipes from my annual Christmas Brunch.
Happy shopping!
Carolina
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
Where Hustle Stops Bustle
“At Christmas play and make good cheer,
For Christmas comes but once a year.” Thomas Tusser
After spending a good part of last week hustling to prepare for Christmas—“determined-with-list-in-hand-shopping” all afternoon Wednesday; one last getaway and leisurely shopping experience with Nick in New York City all day Thursday; and “smart shopping” at the outlet mall a little bit on Friday—it was so wonderful to kick back and relax with dear friends from Kentucky, who visited us for the weekend at our home in Connecticut. We spent our time on a leisurely stroll around town, in leisurely conversation on sofas around the fire, and by breaking bread around my dining room table. No scurrying around. No serious deadlines to meet. No long lines to contend with.
As I sit here and look at my own calendar for December, I imagine that it looks very much like yours. Too many appointments in too little space. Double-bookings in the same exact time slot. Near panic at the realization that something will get left out of the mix: that perfect gift will not be found; that perfect lunch date will not work out; that perfect party will not be attended.
The nearly universal common denominator among all mothers is the feeling of being constantly overwhelmed by the demands of spouse, kids and home life. The near-constant shuffling of little people from school to lessons to activities to friends’ homes; the never-ending cycle of grocery shopping-meal preparation-cleanup-and-laundry; and the nearly-impossible requirement of keeping ourselves in peak-performance physical shape—all on too-little sleep—baffles and confounds even the best of us. And “the math” never gets more complicated than during the Holidays. We become overworked, overstretched, and overburdened. I feel it every year. I know you do, too.
My visit with old friends this weekend validated what I’ve always known—but have often been simply too busy to stand back and rightfully acknowledge: hustle stops bustle around a table.
When all—and I mean all—is said and done, the holidays really boil down to: faith, family and friends. And if we whack that out of perspective, if we wrongly juggle the mix, or if we lose track of the things for which we’re scurrying, we miss out on the season.
When my husband and kids and I sat down around our dining room table to share several meals with two of our dearest friends in the whole world, I was able to leave the hustle and bustle of Christmas behind me. We were able to enjoy the food we had prepared, the catching-up-with-each-other-conversation we had longed for, the break in the routine we had looked forward to, and the ambience we had lovingly designed. With candles aglow and silver sparkling, the cocoon of home and friendship took over to do what it has always done best: provide love and safety and shelter—and relief from the busyness of the world. Hustle stopped bustle this weekend at my dining room table.
I know this sounds trite. Oversimplified. Almost like a “duh, yeah.” But when we’re too busy running around, too busy making everyone else happy and too busy “doing” the Holidays, we truly lose sight of what it takes to fully enjoy and appreciate them. Stopping smack in the middle of the Christmas season to sit down at a table with best friends—to eat and to drink, to laugh and to cry, to share and to pray—was one of my favorite gifts. I told Kathy: “You are my Christmas gift.”
One of my favorite Scripture verses is: “There is a friend who sticketh closer than a brother.” We all know that we can’t choose family, but we can choose friends. Some of us are blessed with family who we would also choose as friends. We acknowledge that we are blessed indeed. And that we are doubly blessed when we have good friends whom we can count on and lean on, through the good times and the bad. With whom we can both celebrate and mourn.
And it’s rarely more obvious than at Christmas.
As you go through these next few weeks leading up to Christmas, I encourage you to gather around a table. Your own or that of your friends. Or at a club or favorite restaurant (as I got to do in New York when Nick and I met an old high school friend of mine for lunch. Wow! Two “old-friend-treats” in one week!) It’s going to be hard for you to fit this in during this month. It’ll stop your momentum. Break your shopping rhythm. Interfere with your chores. Or your workout or your hair appointment or your pedicure. But the mere act of stopping—of deliberate pause, deliberate slowing down and deliberate dining—may possibly prove to be your best Christmas gift ever.
I feel truly blessed to enjoy an overflow of friends. I often feel that my cup runneth over. That people move into my life in the most surprising ways. And enrich it and expand it by encouragement and compassion.
I pray that you also have not only an abundance of friends with whom you can celebrate the Holidays: I pray that you take the time to do just that.
Blessings on your week,
Carolina
A Nick Note
Nick and I kept our promise to each other that we would spend a day together in the City during the Christmas season; we went in on Thursday and shopped and yes—dined around a table. Hustle stopped bustle at the Cuban restaurant Havana Central on 46th St. between 7th and 8th. One of his Christmas gifts was a night at the theatre. If you’re a Billy Joel fan—as we both are—you’ll get a charge out of Movin’ Out. But hurry! The show leaves Broadway on the 18th. Nick’s counts are terrific and he’s gaining strength each day. His renewed health is my greatest gift this Christmas.
A Special Request Note
I received a sad email from a dear friend and fellow rocket mom this week who asked that I use this forum to circulate a special request. The Kaufman family lost their 12-year-old daughter, Alexa, unexpectedly and swiftly to leukemia over the Thanksgiving holiday. She died within three days of her diagnosis. A fund has been started in her memory. Please check out the Kaufman story at:
http://www.miami.com/mld/miamiherald/13271347.htm and help us stamp out childhood cancer.
A Rocket Mom Society Note
The site for the new forming Rocket Mom Society will be up and running this week. Granted, it will not yet be fully loaded. Tons of resources will be added, both as quickly as I can write them, as well as how quickly we can develop them by personal experience and direct observation. In other words, at our monthly Rocket Mom Society meetings, our talking points will be accessible to all society members—chapter members and virtual members alike. Audio streams and video clips will also be added as available. As with all large undertakings, these things take time. Please be patient with me! It is the Christmas season, after all…..go to www.rocketmom.com and click on Rocket Mom Society.
A Quick Note
I’ll be giving the keynote presentation “Mary’s Response” at the Princeton Alliance Church on Thursday, December 8th. Discover how Mary responded to the Annunciation by Gabriel...and how our own responses to life's annunciations profoundly impact our lives. If you live in the Princeton area, please contact the church for details.
For Christmas comes but once a year.” Thomas Tusser
After spending a good part of last week hustling to prepare for Christmas—“determined-with-list-in-hand-shopping” all afternoon Wednesday; one last getaway and leisurely shopping experience with Nick in New York City all day Thursday; and “smart shopping” at the outlet mall a little bit on Friday—it was so wonderful to kick back and relax with dear friends from Kentucky, who visited us for the weekend at our home in Connecticut. We spent our time on a leisurely stroll around town, in leisurely conversation on sofas around the fire, and by breaking bread around my dining room table. No scurrying around. No serious deadlines to meet. No long lines to contend with.
As I sit here and look at my own calendar for December, I imagine that it looks very much like yours. Too many appointments in too little space. Double-bookings in the same exact time slot. Near panic at the realization that something will get left out of the mix: that perfect gift will not be found; that perfect lunch date will not work out; that perfect party will not be attended.
The nearly universal common denominator among all mothers is the feeling of being constantly overwhelmed by the demands of spouse, kids and home life. The near-constant shuffling of little people from school to lessons to activities to friends’ homes; the never-ending cycle of grocery shopping-meal preparation-cleanup-and-laundry; and the nearly-impossible requirement of keeping ourselves in peak-performance physical shape—all on too-little sleep—baffles and confounds even the best of us. And “the math” never gets more complicated than during the Holidays. We become overworked, overstretched, and overburdened. I feel it every year. I know you do, too.
My visit with old friends this weekend validated what I’ve always known—but have often been simply too busy to stand back and rightfully acknowledge: hustle stops bustle around a table.
When all—and I mean all—is said and done, the holidays really boil down to: faith, family and friends. And if we whack that out of perspective, if we wrongly juggle the mix, or if we lose track of the things for which we’re scurrying, we miss out on the season.
When my husband and kids and I sat down around our dining room table to share several meals with two of our dearest friends in the whole world, I was able to leave the hustle and bustle of Christmas behind me. We were able to enjoy the food we had prepared, the catching-up-with-each-other-conversation we had longed for, the break in the routine we had looked forward to, and the ambience we had lovingly designed. With candles aglow and silver sparkling, the cocoon of home and friendship took over to do what it has always done best: provide love and safety and shelter—and relief from the busyness of the world. Hustle stopped bustle this weekend at my dining room table.
I know this sounds trite. Oversimplified. Almost like a “duh, yeah.” But when we’re too busy running around, too busy making everyone else happy and too busy “doing” the Holidays, we truly lose sight of what it takes to fully enjoy and appreciate them. Stopping smack in the middle of the Christmas season to sit down at a table with best friends—to eat and to drink, to laugh and to cry, to share and to pray—was one of my favorite gifts. I told Kathy: “You are my Christmas gift.”
One of my favorite Scripture verses is: “There is a friend who sticketh closer than a brother.” We all know that we can’t choose family, but we can choose friends. Some of us are blessed with family who we would also choose as friends. We acknowledge that we are blessed indeed. And that we are doubly blessed when we have good friends whom we can count on and lean on, through the good times and the bad. With whom we can both celebrate and mourn.
And it’s rarely more obvious than at Christmas.
As you go through these next few weeks leading up to Christmas, I encourage you to gather around a table. Your own or that of your friends. Or at a club or favorite restaurant (as I got to do in New York when Nick and I met an old high school friend of mine for lunch. Wow! Two “old-friend-treats” in one week!) It’s going to be hard for you to fit this in during this month. It’ll stop your momentum. Break your shopping rhythm. Interfere with your chores. Or your workout or your hair appointment or your pedicure. But the mere act of stopping—of deliberate pause, deliberate slowing down and deliberate dining—may possibly prove to be your best Christmas gift ever.
I feel truly blessed to enjoy an overflow of friends. I often feel that my cup runneth over. That people move into my life in the most surprising ways. And enrich it and expand it by encouragement and compassion.
I pray that you also have not only an abundance of friends with whom you can celebrate the Holidays: I pray that you take the time to do just that.
Blessings on your week,
Carolina
A Nick Note
Nick and I kept our promise to each other that we would spend a day together in the City during the Christmas season; we went in on Thursday and shopped and yes—dined around a table. Hustle stopped bustle at the Cuban restaurant Havana Central on 46th St. between 7th and 8th. One of his Christmas gifts was a night at the theatre. If you’re a Billy Joel fan—as we both are—you’ll get a charge out of Movin’ Out. But hurry! The show leaves Broadway on the 18th. Nick’s counts are terrific and he’s gaining strength each day. His renewed health is my greatest gift this Christmas.
A Special Request Note
I received a sad email from a dear friend and fellow rocket mom this week who asked that I use this forum to circulate a special request. The Kaufman family lost their 12-year-old daughter, Alexa, unexpectedly and swiftly to leukemia over the Thanksgiving holiday. She died within three days of her diagnosis. A fund has been started in her memory. Please check out the Kaufman story at:
http://www.miami.com/mld/miamiherald/13271347.htm and help us stamp out childhood cancer.
A Rocket Mom Society Note
The site for the new forming Rocket Mom Society will be up and running this week. Granted, it will not yet be fully loaded. Tons of resources will be added, both as quickly as I can write them, as well as how quickly we can develop them by personal experience and direct observation. In other words, at our monthly Rocket Mom Society meetings, our talking points will be accessible to all society members—chapter members and virtual members alike. Audio streams and video clips will also be added as available. As with all large undertakings, these things take time. Please be patient with me! It is the Christmas season, after all…..go to www.rocketmom.com and click on Rocket Mom Society.
A Quick Note
I’ll be giving the keynote presentation “Mary’s Response” at the Princeton Alliance Church on Thursday, December 8th. Discover how Mary responded to the Annunciation by Gabriel...and how our own responses to life's annunciations profoundly impact our lives. If you live in the Princeton area, please contact the church for details.
Monday, November 28, 2005
Doorbusting
“We are not to avoid the Holiday rush. We are to avoid rushing the Holiday.” Rev. Bill Pfohl.
It’s official. The world can be divided yet one more way: those who doorbust and those who don’t.
Surely you’ve heard the term by now. It refers to folks who get up pre-dawn— most notably on “Black Friday”—and literally bust through stores’ doors as they open in the morning for business. This lovely little ritual is just a few years old...and it appears that it’s starting earlier in the day and attracting more and more devotees each year.
As several of my friends engage in this practice, I can’t put it down. My understanding is that those folks who doorbust think it’s the most normal thing in the world; those of us who wouldn’t be caught dead doing so think they are absolutely nuts.
Talk radio on Friday morning was loaded up with discussion on this phenomenon. Shockingly, the calling audience overwhelmingly felt that doorbusting is actually a rather virtuous practice. That is helps teach kids the value of a hard-earned buck. That those who engage in it exhibit perserverance. Work diligently for what they want. Are willing to sacrifice sleep and comfort in order to get it. Are smart spenders. Exercise good stewardship.
Me? It was a mute point, as I needed to get Nick to the doctor for his weekly check-up. Couldn’t have doorbusted even if I wanted to. And I cannot imagine—even in my wildest dreams—the mere thought. Hate crowds. Hate standing in lines. Hate standing in lines in the cold. Hate giving up my morning coffee ritual. Wouldn’t dream of leaving my warm bed in the pre-dawn cold and dark.
I admit, however, to once again feeling overwhelmed by my long shopping list for Christmas and would love—as my doorbusting friends can now boast about—having it nearly finished. Gifts bought, wrapped and ready to ship. I face frustration once again as I contemplate how to most graciously allow the true spirit of Christmas to enter my family’s reality while meeting all of the season’s demands. Of heeding my pastor’s advice in this week’s sermon: “We are not to avoid the Holiday rush. We are to avoid rushing the Holiday.”
Every year, at about this time, I make my gift list, review those of the past few years, and resolve to be more clever, more thoughtful and more efficient. Every year, at about this time, I under-budget the three most important factors—time, money and energy—for getting my act together. And every year, at about this time. I submit to some of the inevitable: mall-shopping, post-office waiting and last-minute ordering. I resolve—year after year after year—to “be better.” And yet, to keep my eye on the ball. To remember that this season of Advent is to help us move closer to the Christ child. To deepen our relationship with Him.
So where does that fit in? Where, amongst the parties and the pageants, the cookies and the cards, does the message of Christmas weave itself into the fabric of these next four weeks? How does one remain true to the message and yet live in consistency with cultural expectations? Gift-giving is one of the mainstays of the Holidays. And yet it exacts an emotional, financial and physical toll. Whether we like it or not.
For whatever they’re worth, these are my guideposts for preparing for and celebrating the Holidays with vigor and verve:
Think natural. There’s just something about natural beauty. In faces, fashion and home decorating. Friends this year will get gifts from the outdoors or from my local garden center: flowers, bulbs, topiaries. Clay pots, sphagnum moss and all. No gloss. No shine. Simple.
Think small. It never fails: just when I think I’ve outsmarted the system and have figured out perfectly well the exact postage for my smaller packages, I wind up making three or four long trips to the post office with a half a dozen boxes in my arms each and every time. This year, I’m thinking small and lightweight. Gifts that can be easily stuffed into small padded envelopes. With pre-determined, pre-affixed stamps. Stationery, note cards, writing tablets. Jewelry. Smart.
Think homebaked. I adore receiving homemade cookies, as I almost never bake in my own home. (Not my thing.) And so I assume that others love receiving them as much as I do. I never forget our family’s time-honored hands-down best Christmas cookie: Ritz-cracker-peanut-butter-sandwiches-dipped-in-dark-or-white-chocolate. Packaged in pretty tins or boxes, they remain a perennial favorite, and will find their way onto my kitchen counter as well as into a few brown packages this year as they do every year. Easy.
Think handmade. I always think that this Christmas will be different: that I’ll paint large quantities of miniature canvases in oils, hook multitudes of stockings out of hand-dyed wool, decoupage glass plates for all of my neighbors, or needlepoint belts for all four of our kids….and then life gets in the way. Amidst the hustle and the bustle, I invariably wind up at my favorite local merchant, filling his counter with a dozen or so of my favorite things, and giving said item to each and every one of my girlfriends—whether she likes it or not. Not necessarily the most thoughtful approach, but certainly one of the most expedient. But if I can time it just right, I’ll be tinkering in my studio this year, trying to create something out of my heart. Using my own hands and investing time more than any other ingredient. Honest.
I admit: this approach only works for the grown-up set. Girlfriends are amongst the most appreciative set I know. But as for all the little tykes on your list: give it up. You’ll find yourself at more toy stores than you ever thought possible, searching for talking dolls, action-packed video games, new bikes and glow-in-the-dark balls. And you’ll spend way more of those special three—time, money and energy—than you ever planned. As for those teens on your list? My own daughter is so hoping for Juicy Couture and I am so hoping that they’re all sold out. Malls and madness. Yuck. The mere thought exhausts me.
If only I had doorbusted.
Happy week!
Carolina
A Nick Note
Nick is handling the maintenance part of his chemo protocol extremely well. The highlight of his week was visiting with his many friends who came home for Thanksgiving. It was wonderful seeing him so animated….
A Quick Note
If you live in my area and missed the Official Launch of the Rocket Mom Society but would like to come and learn more about it, please send me an email and I’ll send you an invite to a Christmas party at my house.
It’s official. The world can be divided yet one more way: those who doorbust and those who don’t.
Surely you’ve heard the term by now. It refers to folks who get up pre-dawn— most notably on “Black Friday”—and literally bust through stores’ doors as they open in the morning for business. This lovely little ritual is just a few years old...and it appears that it’s starting earlier in the day and attracting more and more devotees each year.
As several of my friends engage in this practice, I can’t put it down. My understanding is that those folks who doorbust think it’s the most normal thing in the world; those of us who wouldn’t be caught dead doing so think they are absolutely nuts.
Talk radio on Friday morning was loaded up with discussion on this phenomenon. Shockingly, the calling audience overwhelmingly felt that doorbusting is actually a rather virtuous practice. That is helps teach kids the value of a hard-earned buck. That those who engage in it exhibit perserverance. Work diligently for what they want. Are willing to sacrifice sleep and comfort in order to get it. Are smart spenders. Exercise good stewardship.
Me? It was a mute point, as I needed to get Nick to the doctor for his weekly check-up. Couldn’t have doorbusted even if I wanted to. And I cannot imagine—even in my wildest dreams—the mere thought. Hate crowds. Hate standing in lines. Hate standing in lines in the cold. Hate giving up my morning coffee ritual. Wouldn’t dream of leaving my warm bed in the pre-dawn cold and dark.
I admit, however, to once again feeling overwhelmed by my long shopping list for Christmas and would love—as my doorbusting friends can now boast about—having it nearly finished. Gifts bought, wrapped and ready to ship. I face frustration once again as I contemplate how to most graciously allow the true spirit of Christmas to enter my family’s reality while meeting all of the season’s demands. Of heeding my pastor’s advice in this week’s sermon: “We are not to avoid the Holiday rush. We are to avoid rushing the Holiday.”
Every year, at about this time, I make my gift list, review those of the past few years, and resolve to be more clever, more thoughtful and more efficient. Every year, at about this time, I under-budget the three most important factors—time, money and energy—for getting my act together. And every year, at about this time. I submit to some of the inevitable: mall-shopping, post-office waiting and last-minute ordering. I resolve—year after year after year—to “be better.” And yet, to keep my eye on the ball. To remember that this season of Advent is to help us move closer to the Christ child. To deepen our relationship with Him.
So where does that fit in? Where, amongst the parties and the pageants, the cookies and the cards, does the message of Christmas weave itself into the fabric of these next four weeks? How does one remain true to the message and yet live in consistency with cultural expectations? Gift-giving is one of the mainstays of the Holidays. And yet it exacts an emotional, financial and physical toll. Whether we like it or not.
For whatever they’re worth, these are my guideposts for preparing for and celebrating the Holidays with vigor and verve:
Think natural. There’s just something about natural beauty. In faces, fashion and home decorating. Friends this year will get gifts from the outdoors or from my local garden center: flowers, bulbs, topiaries. Clay pots, sphagnum moss and all. No gloss. No shine. Simple.
Think small. It never fails: just when I think I’ve outsmarted the system and have figured out perfectly well the exact postage for my smaller packages, I wind up making three or four long trips to the post office with a half a dozen boxes in my arms each and every time. This year, I’m thinking small and lightweight. Gifts that can be easily stuffed into small padded envelopes. With pre-determined, pre-affixed stamps. Stationery, note cards, writing tablets. Jewelry. Smart.
Think homebaked. I adore receiving homemade cookies, as I almost never bake in my own home. (Not my thing.) And so I assume that others love receiving them as much as I do. I never forget our family’s time-honored hands-down best Christmas cookie: Ritz-cracker-peanut-butter-sandwiches-dipped-in-dark-or-white-chocolate. Packaged in pretty tins or boxes, they remain a perennial favorite, and will find their way onto my kitchen counter as well as into a few brown packages this year as they do every year. Easy.
Think handmade. I always think that this Christmas will be different: that I’ll paint large quantities of miniature canvases in oils, hook multitudes of stockings out of hand-dyed wool, decoupage glass plates for all of my neighbors, or needlepoint belts for all four of our kids….and then life gets in the way. Amidst the hustle and the bustle, I invariably wind up at my favorite local merchant, filling his counter with a dozen or so of my favorite things, and giving said item to each and every one of my girlfriends—whether she likes it or not. Not necessarily the most thoughtful approach, but certainly one of the most expedient. But if I can time it just right, I’ll be tinkering in my studio this year, trying to create something out of my heart. Using my own hands and investing time more than any other ingredient. Honest.
I admit: this approach only works for the grown-up set. Girlfriends are amongst the most appreciative set I know. But as for all the little tykes on your list: give it up. You’ll find yourself at more toy stores than you ever thought possible, searching for talking dolls, action-packed video games, new bikes and glow-in-the-dark balls. And you’ll spend way more of those special three—time, money and energy—than you ever planned. As for those teens on your list? My own daughter is so hoping for Juicy Couture and I am so hoping that they’re all sold out. Malls and madness. Yuck. The mere thought exhausts me.
If only I had doorbusted.
Happy week!
Carolina
A Nick Note
Nick is handling the maintenance part of his chemo protocol extremely well. The highlight of his week was visiting with his many friends who came home for Thanksgiving. It was wonderful seeing him so animated….
A Quick Note
If you live in my area and missed the Official Launch of the Rocket Mom Society but would like to come and learn more about it, please send me an email and I’ll send you an invite to a Christmas party at my house.
Monday, November 21, 2005
Abundant Blessings
“And Jabez called on the God of Israel saying, “Oh, that you would bless me indeed, and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would be with me, and that you would keep me from evil, that I may not cause pain.” So God granted him what he requested. 1 Chronicles 4:9-10
I was feeling a little blue last week. Out of sorts. I had a funny sensation all week. Couldn’t really put my finger on it. I was feeling uncomfortable in my own skin. An uncommon feeling for me and one that I haven’t experienced since I can remember. I came to the conclusion that it was because I was entering unchartered territory in getting this Rocket Mom Society officially launched. That even though I see the need, feel the need and am eager to respond to the need, that others would not necessarily catch my vision. That to get it up and running was too much work. That I was unqualified. Technologically retarded. Feeling a tad bit sorry for myself—no, feeling sorry isn’t quite right—um, maybe feeling that I had over-stretched my personal limitations. Yes, that’s it: stretched too much. Reached too far. Dreamed too big. And my emotions hadn’t yet caught up with my brain.
I needed perspective, but far more, I needed wisdom. I needed to read that going out on a limb produces anxiety. That these feelings were normal. That I wasn’t nuts. That it was okay to ask for blessings. For reassurances. That praying for enlarged territory was not only “allowable,” but it was part of God’s design on my life.
I curled up on my living room sofa with one of my favorite books: Bruce Wilkinson’s The Prayer of Jabez. Having read and re-read it many times, I needed to re-read it now and capture, once again, the wisdom contained in its few pages.
Growing up as one of those Christians who believed it would be greedy of me to ask for even more of God’s blessings when I enjoy so much to begin with, I had a hard time with the concept that it was not only okay to ask for more, but that it was what God wants from me. For starters, I had an incorrect understanding of the word “blessing.” I had, of course, heard the word, seen the word. Hundreds if not thousands of times before. But we use it incorrectly. And it leads to misunderstanding. As Wilkinson discusses, we say “Bless you” after someone sneezes. We casually tell people we wish them blessings. We bless the food, bless the turkey, bless the pumpkin pie.
But “to bless in the Biblical sense means to ask for or to impart supernatural favor.” (1) When I ask for God’s blessings, I’m not asking for more of what I could get, or more of what I could accomplish or more of what I believe I deserve! I’m asking for God to impart to me—through His supernatural power—something which I could not attain by my own.
In Wilkinson’s book, we see that Jabez left everything up to God: how he should be blessed, what blessings would befall him and how he would receive them.
It met me exactly in the moment in which I needed it. (I love when that happens...) I was able to finish the book, pull myself up off the sofa (after a nice little nap) and bounce through the weekend with renewed energy and enthusiasm. I had a simple prayer: “Lord, show Yourself powerfully. Show me that You are here. All around me. Working everywhere. Even in my loneliness and my fear.”
And funny little things happened all weekend long. I got emails from friends with whom I hadn’t conversed in weeks. Phonemails, too. Kind gestures were bestowed on me…catching me totally off-guard. Like when I offered to watch a complete stranger’s little girl in the outside lobby at the Cheesecake Factory so the mom could check on the estimated length of her wait, only to receive during dinner some food sent over by her as a way of saying “Thank you.” Several more small, seemingly insignificant acts of kindness occurred over the next couple days, giving me very much a sense of God’s presence. Of His working everywhere.
As we prepare to celebrate Thanksgiving, I would ask you to give special consideration to the word “blessing.” It is not meant to be taken lightly. It is a word which we raise up to our Creator in prayer. With humility. We ask for showers of blessings in order to further glorify God. Praying for God’s desires to be met. Not ours. We pray without ego. Or competitive ambition. But just to better walk these days in service to Him and to our fellow man.
My Thanksgiving prayer is that you would receive supernatural blessings in order to live more fully God’s design on your life. That He would abundantly bless you so that all of the things that He desires in the world would be met through each one of us bold enough to ask for our place in it. That however God wants to use you to fulfill His goals, you would be up for the challenge. And that it would be crystal clear, that it will not be by your works—or by mine—that His will be fulfilled. For as Scripture teaches: “The Lord’s blessing is our greatest wealth; all our work adds nothing to it.” (Proverbs 10:22) I hope you use some of the “downtime” of the holiday weekend to prayerfully submit yourself to God’s work in this world. To be fully open of how and where you might fit into the eternal drama. That your heart would be pricked in such a way that you would be open to the miracles which God wants to do through your life.
May God’s richest blessings come to you, on Thanksgiving Day and everyday!
Carolina
NOTE:
Wilkinson, Bruce, The Prayer of Jabez, Multnomah Publishers, Sisters, p.23.
A Nick Note
Nick and Ernie spent four full days in Atlanta, this being the first time in over a year that he received doctor’s orders to go so far away from home. They relaxed together, had some nice meals together, and attended the Georgia-Kentucky game as well as the Falcons-Tampa Bay game. We’re most thankful this Thanksgiving for Nick’s health, for his increased energy and stamina, and for his very bright prognosis and future. I continue to pray Jeremiah 29:11 for him: “I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.” I would covet your continued prayers for Nick, and encourage you to pray this simple prayer for blessings on your own loved ones.
A Rocket Mom Society Note
The RMS officially launched to a small gathering of women on Thursday night in my living room. Healthy, lively discussion followed the laying out of my vision. While I’m taking all comments to task, I am proceeding with its development and am committed to trying to meet the needs as I see them, feel them and understand them.
As I look around and try to digest not only what I’m learning from my own nearly twenty years into parenting, but also from what I’m learning as I share this journey with you, I realize that even though our navigation systems may have constructed different charts, we’re all in the same proverbial boat. As an international sisterhood, we admit that we face a universal search for wisdom and that our everyday challenges are strikingly similar. We all want to know how to cope with the terrible two’s as well as how to keep our girls looking wholesome in the age of Madonna and Britney. We all want to know how to keep on top of technology’s increasing role in our kids’ lives in the age of online pornography and internet predators. We all want to know how to preserve our family relationships in the age where business moves at the speed of thought. How to prevent the cultural divide from swallowing us all up. Or how to meet the firestorm of pop culture effectively when our arsenal seems to have the power of a squirt gun.
We acknowledge that as cradle-rockers and vision-casters, we possess the unique privilege of shaping the world. And together, we can try to do just that. But there are structural challenges—bureacratic practicalities, in a sense—that must be met in order to fulfill this goal. My hope is that via downloadable documents, audio streams and video clips, I will be able to reach those of you who are interested in joining this potentially international sisterhood society but who are unable to meet me in my own home. Please give me some more time to work on the online infrastructure so that I’ll be able to best serve you. In the meantime, if you’re interested in more details, please send me an email. I’m keeping a list……
I was feeling a little blue last week. Out of sorts. I had a funny sensation all week. Couldn’t really put my finger on it. I was feeling uncomfortable in my own skin. An uncommon feeling for me and one that I haven’t experienced since I can remember. I came to the conclusion that it was because I was entering unchartered territory in getting this Rocket Mom Society officially launched. That even though I see the need, feel the need and am eager to respond to the need, that others would not necessarily catch my vision. That to get it up and running was too much work. That I was unqualified. Technologically retarded. Feeling a tad bit sorry for myself—no, feeling sorry isn’t quite right—um, maybe feeling that I had over-stretched my personal limitations. Yes, that’s it: stretched too much. Reached too far. Dreamed too big. And my emotions hadn’t yet caught up with my brain.
I needed perspective, but far more, I needed wisdom. I needed to read that going out on a limb produces anxiety. That these feelings were normal. That I wasn’t nuts. That it was okay to ask for blessings. For reassurances. That praying for enlarged territory was not only “allowable,” but it was part of God’s design on my life.
I curled up on my living room sofa with one of my favorite books: Bruce Wilkinson’s The Prayer of Jabez. Having read and re-read it many times, I needed to re-read it now and capture, once again, the wisdom contained in its few pages.
Growing up as one of those Christians who believed it would be greedy of me to ask for even more of God’s blessings when I enjoy so much to begin with, I had a hard time with the concept that it was not only okay to ask for more, but that it was what God wants from me. For starters, I had an incorrect understanding of the word “blessing.” I had, of course, heard the word, seen the word. Hundreds if not thousands of times before. But we use it incorrectly. And it leads to misunderstanding. As Wilkinson discusses, we say “Bless you” after someone sneezes. We casually tell people we wish them blessings. We bless the food, bless the turkey, bless the pumpkin pie.
But “to bless in the Biblical sense means to ask for or to impart supernatural favor.” (1) When I ask for God’s blessings, I’m not asking for more of what I could get, or more of what I could accomplish or more of what I believe I deserve! I’m asking for God to impart to me—through His supernatural power—something which I could not attain by my own.
In Wilkinson’s book, we see that Jabez left everything up to God: how he should be blessed, what blessings would befall him and how he would receive them.
It met me exactly in the moment in which I needed it. (I love when that happens...) I was able to finish the book, pull myself up off the sofa (after a nice little nap) and bounce through the weekend with renewed energy and enthusiasm. I had a simple prayer: “Lord, show Yourself powerfully. Show me that You are here. All around me. Working everywhere. Even in my loneliness and my fear.”
And funny little things happened all weekend long. I got emails from friends with whom I hadn’t conversed in weeks. Phonemails, too. Kind gestures were bestowed on me…catching me totally off-guard. Like when I offered to watch a complete stranger’s little girl in the outside lobby at the Cheesecake Factory so the mom could check on the estimated length of her wait, only to receive during dinner some food sent over by her as a way of saying “Thank you.” Several more small, seemingly insignificant acts of kindness occurred over the next couple days, giving me very much a sense of God’s presence. Of His working everywhere.
As we prepare to celebrate Thanksgiving, I would ask you to give special consideration to the word “blessing.” It is not meant to be taken lightly. It is a word which we raise up to our Creator in prayer. With humility. We ask for showers of blessings in order to further glorify God. Praying for God’s desires to be met. Not ours. We pray without ego. Or competitive ambition. But just to better walk these days in service to Him and to our fellow man.
My Thanksgiving prayer is that you would receive supernatural blessings in order to live more fully God’s design on your life. That He would abundantly bless you so that all of the things that He desires in the world would be met through each one of us bold enough to ask for our place in it. That however God wants to use you to fulfill His goals, you would be up for the challenge. And that it would be crystal clear, that it will not be by your works—or by mine—that His will be fulfilled. For as Scripture teaches: “The Lord’s blessing is our greatest wealth; all our work adds nothing to it.” (Proverbs 10:22) I hope you use some of the “downtime” of the holiday weekend to prayerfully submit yourself to God’s work in this world. To be fully open of how and where you might fit into the eternal drama. That your heart would be pricked in such a way that you would be open to the miracles which God wants to do through your life.
May God’s richest blessings come to you, on Thanksgiving Day and everyday!
Carolina
NOTE:
Wilkinson, Bruce, The Prayer of Jabez, Multnomah Publishers, Sisters, p.23.
A Nick Note
Nick and Ernie spent four full days in Atlanta, this being the first time in over a year that he received doctor’s orders to go so far away from home. They relaxed together, had some nice meals together, and attended the Georgia-Kentucky game as well as the Falcons-Tampa Bay game. We’re most thankful this Thanksgiving for Nick’s health, for his increased energy and stamina, and for his very bright prognosis and future. I continue to pray Jeremiah 29:11 for him: “I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.” I would covet your continued prayers for Nick, and encourage you to pray this simple prayer for blessings on your own loved ones.
A Rocket Mom Society Note
The RMS officially launched to a small gathering of women on Thursday night in my living room. Healthy, lively discussion followed the laying out of my vision. While I’m taking all comments to task, I am proceeding with its development and am committed to trying to meet the needs as I see them, feel them and understand them.
As I look around and try to digest not only what I’m learning from my own nearly twenty years into parenting, but also from what I’m learning as I share this journey with you, I realize that even though our navigation systems may have constructed different charts, we’re all in the same proverbial boat. As an international sisterhood, we admit that we face a universal search for wisdom and that our everyday challenges are strikingly similar. We all want to know how to cope with the terrible two’s as well as how to keep our girls looking wholesome in the age of Madonna and Britney. We all want to know how to keep on top of technology’s increasing role in our kids’ lives in the age of online pornography and internet predators. We all want to know how to preserve our family relationships in the age where business moves at the speed of thought. How to prevent the cultural divide from swallowing us all up. Or how to meet the firestorm of pop culture effectively when our arsenal seems to have the power of a squirt gun.
We acknowledge that as cradle-rockers and vision-casters, we possess the unique privilege of shaping the world. And together, we can try to do just that. But there are structural challenges—bureacratic practicalities, in a sense—that must be met in order to fulfill this goal. My hope is that via downloadable documents, audio streams and video clips, I will be able to reach those of you who are interested in joining this potentially international sisterhood society but who are unable to meet me in my own home. Please give me some more time to work on the online infrastructure so that I’ll be able to best serve you. In the meantime, if you’re interested in more details, please send me an email. I’m keeping a list……
Monday, November 14, 2005
Launch of the Rocket Mom Society
Never before have the issues of parenting been more critical. I believe that it’s more than my increased consciousness due to having three teenagers in our house, or that because I read and write about parenting issues all day long I am more in-tune with everyday issues and dilemmas. I feel—in my bones—the pervasive pop cultural erosion of those things I hold most dear. I see floundering parents fixated on Super Nanny and teen girls fixated on Vogue.
How do you elevate the moral consciousness of your family? How do you raise morally responsible teens? What values should I be pro-actively instilling in my kids? When and how do I start? Are there specific steps I can be taking? Clever strategies to get our family on the right path?
If you believe that moms need a voice, that we need to seek solutions to our most pressing problems, and that—together—we can band together in our journey, then I hope you will consider joining the newly forming ROCKET MOM SOCIETY. Launching this Thursday in Ridgefield, CT (USA), I hope to “encourage, equip and empower moms for excellence.” If you have not received an invitation but would like to join us in our launch party, please email me directly at: emomrx@yahoo.com. With the infrastructure almost in place, I am hopeful that registration can begin on Friday. Please watch for an email message notifying you of the signup link. While none of us can claim to know all of the answers, we can claim to at least asking most of the right questions. This will be the goal of all members of the ROCKET MOM SOCIETY. Stay tuned.
How do you elevate the moral consciousness of your family? How do you raise morally responsible teens? What values should I be pro-actively instilling in my kids? When and how do I start? Are there specific steps I can be taking? Clever strategies to get our family on the right path?
If you believe that moms need a voice, that we need to seek solutions to our most pressing problems, and that—together—we can band together in our journey, then I hope you will consider joining the newly forming ROCKET MOM SOCIETY. Launching this Thursday in Ridgefield, CT (USA), I hope to “encourage, equip and empower moms for excellence.” If you have not received an invitation but would like to join us in our launch party, please email me directly at: emomrx@yahoo.com. With the infrastructure almost in place, I am hopeful that registration can begin on Friday. Please watch for an email message notifying you of the signup link. While none of us can claim to know all of the answers, we can claim to at least asking most of the right questions. This will be the goal of all members of the ROCKET MOM SOCIETY. Stay tuned.
Monday, November 07, 2005
It Only Takes a Spark
"The purpose of human life is to serve, and to show compassion
and the will to help others." Albert Schweitzer
It Only Takes a Spark
To get a fire going. Ahhh! We know that only too well. One poorly-timed word, sideways glance or accusatory question to a teenager….and sparks go flying. Before you know it, voices start running up an octave or two, muscles start tensing and words start spewing forth for the impending, unavoidable flare-up. A veritable bonfire could be in the works before you know it! Ha! No one ever told you this parenting thing would be easy. Call for such stamina, nerves of steel and worn-out knees.
On the flip side, it only takes the spark of one individual, one heroic voice, one visionary or one touched by social injustice, personal tragedy or immeasurable suffering to try to set the world right again.
Such was my experience Saturday morning, when I traded in leisure time on a perfect-postcard New England fall day to attend a mandatory training session for the Make-A-Wish Foundation. Having been personally touched by childhood cancer, I wanted to become actively involved in this top-notch organization as a goodwill ambassador. Not only because they would be granting a wish to our family, but because I believe that my testimony could prove encouraging to others facing similar circumstances.
The Make-A-Wish Foundation has the system figured out: rules, regulations, security background checks...and they do an excellent job of acquainting their volunteers with the basics before getting truly started. They also do a wonderful job of reminding you why you signed up in the first place. Video clips of children as they are receiving their wish-—along with film of the selfless acts of devoted volunteers in shaping the wish to its fullest potential-—bring that lump-to-the-throat experience that could hardly find expression anywhere else. Dressing up in hulas to deliver a wish for a Hawaiian trip, or as Spiderman so that a little boy could be “Beetle Boy” for a day and save the city of Pittsburgh from the evil Green Goblin...all served as powerful reminders of fulfilling Make-A-Wish’s vision of “bringing hope, strength and joy” to children around the world.
The foundation got its start after a family lost their own son to leukemia. The mother, so moved by the local police force which granted a wish to her son just a week before he passed away, inspired her to found a program which would exert that same power over countless other children facing life-threatening illnesses around the world. Her singular joy in watching her son receive his wish sparked the fire which would spread around the globe.
Around the world people are following that still quiet voice which inspires them to jump out of their comfort zone and into the arena of hunger and hurt, poverty and pain, illness and illiteracy. Folks like Roberto Perez, international leader of Alfalit—-a literacy group that our family is involved with-—who retired from his career as a social worker in order to advance the cause of literacy throughout Spanish and Portuguese-speaking countries of the world; or of James and Carolyn Loftin, who felt the pull to meet the spiritual needs of the people of China, and founded the Follow One International organization, leaving family, friends and personal comfort behind. There are thousands of others. All felt tugs on their heartstrings to enlarge their circle of concern and stepped out onto the world stage of need.
Most visionaries have suffered inordinate personal suffering. Not witnessed it secondhand. Not read about it. Or heard about it. But experienced it. It seems to go with the territory. A rose isn’t beautiful without its thorns, after all. It is the suffering, really, which serves most often as the springboard for profound change and energetic movement to goodwill on a massive scale.
Pricked by cultural contradictions-—as well as the current intersection of media attention and personal anxiety (ever watched even one episode of Desperate Housewives?)-—the time is ripe for the launch of the Rocket Mom Society. In no way comparing it—-or my vision-—to some of the aforementioned luminaries, the need for an international sisterhood is both real and pervasive. Too many parenting seminars, newsletters and media interviews have found me responding to too many attendees with the deer-in-the-headlights-look too deeply etched onto their faces to understand just how real the need truly is. Young moms, especially, lack role models…not to mention a clearly-detailed instruction manual for each one of their kids. With their own moms living hundreds of miles away, few neighborhood moms showing them the ropes, and pop culture stealing commonly-held notions from the best-intentioned of us; this motherhood experience has left many of us feeling hopeless, hapless and helpless. It’s time to put back some good old-fashioned unapologetic optimism back into the parenting equation.
At the risk of sounding holier-than-thou or like the-know-it-all-you-love-to-hate, I will be launching the Rocket Mom Society on November 17. I welcome your support! As a potentially international sisterhood of like-minded moms, our goal will be to “encourage and equip moms for excellence.” Like others who have come before me with a vision, my heart has been pricked, and I need to move forward. Faced, too, with inordinate personal tragedy in my own life, it will serve as a springboard to helping others. Please email me if you live outside the Fairfield County, Connecticut (Westchester County, New York) area. If you live nearby, you are invited to the launch with a simple email for the asking.
The late arrival of this week’s newsletter into your inbox is a reminder that, when push comes to shove, my own kids and husband come first. A need on my own home front will always supersede a need anywhere else. But hopefully, I’ll be able to serve my own family well, while simultaneously enlarge the circle into which I feel especially drawn. I hope you consider becoming a card-carrying member, too. Details will be forthcoming and are also available by sending me an email. I will continue with my weekly newsletters, but I will also move full throttle developing countless hands-on strategies for those I feel called to help. It only takes a spark, and I hope that you’ll add to my fire.
Blessings,
Carolina
A Nick Note
Nick started the maintenance phase of his chemo protocol on Friday. After four halted attempts, he endured two procedures which got the ball rolling. He should expect to feel much better than he has in a year. Though not yet back to his highest energy level, he’s playing tennis, eating well and looks terrific. His hair is even coming back...more and more each day. It was especially heartwarming to read the dozens of emails which poured forth this morning with combined fear for his health and well-being. Again, my apologies for giving you such a fright! But I feel covered in prayer for my whole family, and for that I am extremely grateful.
A Quick Note
Two exciting media opportunities are moving forward. They will help move the ROCKET MOM message to a wider audience and are, indeed, a good thing. I’d love prayer for increased energy and stamina!
A ROCKET MOM SOCIETY Note
I’m working on the infrastructure for the new ROCKET MOM SOCIETY. It should be up and running by launch time. To help those living far and away (like a new rocket mom in Nigeria), I need a system for keeping all of you in close contact above and beyond this newsletter. Details next week about how to sign up!
and the will to help others." Albert Schweitzer
It Only Takes a Spark
To get a fire going. Ahhh! We know that only too well. One poorly-timed word, sideways glance or accusatory question to a teenager….and sparks go flying. Before you know it, voices start running up an octave or two, muscles start tensing and words start spewing forth for the impending, unavoidable flare-up. A veritable bonfire could be in the works before you know it! Ha! No one ever told you this parenting thing would be easy. Call for such stamina, nerves of steel and worn-out knees.
On the flip side, it only takes the spark of one individual, one heroic voice, one visionary or one touched by social injustice, personal tragedy or immeasurable suffering to try to set the world right again.
Such was my experience Saturday morning, when I traded in leisure time on a perfect-postcard New England fall day to attend a mandatory training session for the Make-A-Wish Foundation. Having been personally touched by childhood cancer, I wanted to become actively involved in this top-notch organization as a goodwill ambassador. Not only because they would be granting a wish to our family, but because I believe that my testimony could prove encouraging to others facing similar circumstances.
The Make-A-Wish Foundation has the system figured out: rules, regulations, security background checks...and they do an excellent job of acquainting their volunteers with the basics before getting truly started. They also do a wonderful job of reminding you why you signed up in the first place. Video clips of children as they are receiving their wish-—along with film of the selfless acts of devoted volunteers in shaping the wish to its fullest potential-—bring that lump-to-the-throat experience that could hardly find expression anywhere else. Dressing up in hulas to deliver a wish for a Hawaiian trip, or as Spiderman so that a little boy could be “Beetle Boy” for a day and save the city of Pittsburgh from the evil Green Goblin...all served as powerful reminders of fulfilling Make-A-Wish’s vision of “bringing hope, strength and joy” to children around the world.
The foundation got its start after a family lost their own son to leukemia. The mother, so moved by the local police force which granted a wish to her son just a week before he passed away, inspired her to found a program which would exert that same power over countless other children facing life-threatening illnesses around the world. Her singular joy in watching her son receive his wish sparked the fire which would spread around the globe.
Around the world people are following that still quiet voice which inspires them to jump out of their comfort zone and into the arena of hunger and hurt, poverty and pain, illness and illiteracy. Folks like Roberto Perez, international leader of Alfalit—-a literacy group that our family is involved with-—who retired from his career as a social worker in order to advance the cause of literacy throughout Spanish and Portuguese-speaking countries of the world; or of James and Carolyn Loftin, who felt the pull to meet the spiritual needs of the people of China, and founded the Follow One International organization, leaving family, friends and personal comfort behind. There are thousands of others. All felt tugs on their heartstrings to enlarge their circle of concern and stepped out onto the world stage of need.
Most visionaries have suffered inordinate personal suffering. Not witnessed it secondhand. Not read about it. Or heard about it. But experienced it. It seems to go with the territory. A rose isn’t beautiful without its thorns, after all. It is the suffering, really, which serves most often as the springboard for profound change and energetic movement to goodwill on a massive scale.
Pricked by cultural contradictions-—as well as the current intersection of media attention and personal anxiety (ever watched even one episode of Desperate Housewives?)-—the time is ripe for the launch of the Rocket Mom Society. In no way comparing it—-or my vision-—to some of the aforementioned luminaries, the need for an international sisterhood is both real and pervasive. Too many parenting seminars, newsletters and media interviews have found me responding to too many attendees with the deer-in-the-headlights-look too deeply etched onto their faces to understand just how real the need truly is. Young moms, especially, lack role models…not to mention a clearly-detailed instruction manual for each one of their kids. With their own moms living hundreds of miles away, few neighborhood moms showing them the ropes, and pop culture stealing commonly-held notions from the best-intentioned of us; this motherhood experience has left many of us feeling hopeless, hapless and helpless. It’s time to put back some good old-fashioned unapologetic optimism back into the parenting equation.
At the risk of sounding holier-than-thou or like the-know-it-all-you-love-to-hate, I will be launching the Rocket Mom Society on November 17. I welcome your support! As a potentially international sisterhood of like-minded moms, our goal will be to “encourage and equip moms for excellence.” Like others who have come before me with a vision, my heart has been pricked, and I need to move forward. Faced, too, with inordinate personal tragedy in my own life, it will serve as a springboard to helping others. Please email me if you live outside the Fairfield County, Connecticut (Westchester County, New York) area. If you live nearby, you are invited to the launch with a simple email for the asking.
The late arrival of this week’s newsletter into your inbox is a reminder that, when push comes to shove, my own kids and husband come first. A need on my own home front will always supersede a need anywhere else. But hopefully, I’ll be able to serve my own family well, while simultaneously enlarge the circle into which I feel especially drawn. I hope you consider becoming a card-carrying member, too. Details will be forthcoming and are also available by sending me an email. I will continue with my weekly newsletters, but I will also move full throttle developing countless hands-on strategies for those I feel called to help. It only takes a spark, and I hope that you’ll add to my fire.
Blessings,
Carolina
A Nick Note
Nick started the maintenance phase of his chemo protocol on Friday. After four halted attempts, he endured two procedures which got the ball rolling. He should expect to feel much better than he has in a year. Though not yet back to his highest energy level, he’s playing tennis, eating well and looks terrific. His hair is even coming back...more and more each day. It was especially heartwarming to read the dozens of emails which poured forth this morning with combined fear for his health and well-being. Again, my apologies for giving you such a fright! But I feel covered in prayer for my whole family, and for that I am extremely grateful.
A Quick Note
Two exciting media opportunities are moving forward. They will help move the ROCKET MOM message to a wider audience and are, indeed, a good thing. I’d love prayer for increased energy and stamina!
A ROCKET MOM SOCIETY Note
I’m working on the infrastructure for the new ROCKET MOM SOCIETY. It should be up and running by launch time. To help those living far and away (like a new rocket mom in Nigeria), I need a system for keeping all of you in close contact above and beyond this newsletter. Details next week about how to sign up!
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